I've had some real conscience wrestling these last few days assisted by a lot of tongue biting.
Wednesday brought a massive Public Sector workers strike and I have real mixed feelings about this (including a lot of anger) particularly as i have a lot of friends who are teachers and civil servants. For those of you have been living in your shed without a TV for the last year, the country (and most of the world) is in pretty deep doo-doo financially and some pretty drastic cuts have got to be made to stop us from turning into a crap version of Greece * . Consequently the government have introduced some pretty unpopular cuts to services and changes in policy to try to reduce the deficit.
* At least Greece has good weather and beaches for when you're really depressed.
The most recent one has been a change in pensions for all Public Sector workers. Now the big point that everyone seems to be missing is that Public Sector Pensions (and the State Pension come to that) should have been reformed years ago to take into account the fact that people simply live longer than they used to. In 1926 when State Pensions were introduced the average life expectancy was 76 for men and 78 for women, in 2008 those figures were closer to 86 and 89 respectively. So there is an extra 10 years of pension cash to be found per person in the UK and yet until recently there had been almost no real move to increase the age at which these pensioners could start receiving their cash.
Anyone who can do simple adding and subtraction knows that this kind of commitment cannot be sustained indefinitely. Unfortunately the world financial crisis has elevated the pension timebomb profile and the government have no option but to address it and try to sort something out. They have already brought in plans to raise retirement age for the State Pension and now they are making changes to the Public Sector and it's not going down well.
I agree that the measures seem unfair and it would be a pretty poor argument if all I did was bleat on about the private sector being stamped on for years with dismal payrises, long hours and diminishing pensions to show for it, so I won't. Instead, let's think about a few other points.
1) No public sector worker will lose any money they have already invested in their pensions.
2) Public sector pensions will be 'defined benefit' ie: linked to pay and not on the amount saved or invested. So why is that bad?
3) Private sector workers must be responsible for the investment into their pensions, so why should they also be predominantly responsible for the investment into public sector workers pensions too?
Forgive me for being cynical but, generally, Governments tend to focus on keeping themselves in power for as long as possible and traditionally they like to make themselves pretty popular. So why are the Tories seemingly making themselves as unpopular as rabid dog at a teddy bears picnic? Could it be because they've explored all the popular options and realised they don't work? Could it be that there really are very few alternatives left (if any) and so drastic times call for drastic measures?
Even Husb who would sooner cut off his hands than be accused of being a Tory is shouting at the telly when some of the half-wits that the media choose to interview at times like this bang on about everything being 'not fair' and 'I'm entitled!' etc etc ad boredinium....[yes I did just make that word up].
The simple facts remain that we are not in a good place and we're all in it together so whilst you teachers are worried about your diminishing pension, so are we; you guys are worrying about future redundancies and job security and so are we. Times are rubbish but if we all start taking some responsibility then maybe we can get through it. Our parents and grandparents didn't exactly have it easy but they managed. They survived wars, rationing, general strikes and some positively dreadful fashion statements. They had to work out how to stretch a ridiculously small amount of food just that bit further and mend clothes rather than buy news ones yet most of us mainly have to make sure we don't overstretch our finances just in case something hits us – so, no new flat screen TVs, no amazing foreign holidays, making sure the kids have new shoes rather than £100 fashion trainers. You get the idea. I know I could easily knock a good £10 off my weekly food shop without trying too hard. And yes, I am aware that I am one of the relatively lucky ones and there are a lot of others who have to cut it down a lot more than that and have a lot less income to start with.
Incidentally, if anyone has any ideas that the Tories haven't thought of yet then please do share them. The only ones I can think of would probably be even more unpopular...
- Income tax rises
- VAT rises
- Council tax rises
- Fuel duty rises?
And before someone tries to bang on about Bankers and the mega rich and so on, yes ladies and gents, there will also be the 'haves' and the 'have-nots'. It's the way of the world and always has been. Some will have inherited, some will have got lucky on the lottery, some will have got theirs from their golden boots or golden tonsils and some will just be thieving greedy bastards. It's not always necessarily fair , but in a lot of cases the 'haves' have built up their fortunes through hard work and sacrifice. Do you begrudge them their money too? You know as well as I do that if it were you (or me) who had the millions stashed away then you would enjoy it as much as those guys do.
We can't base all our decisions on what someone else does or someone else has. At some point in all our lives we have to just take some responsibility for ourselves and look out for those who can't look out for themselves. I don't have all the answers and if I did, would I want the Prime Minister's job? Would I heck.
I know that it's quite common to have vivid dreams when pregnant but I didn't know they would be quite like this...
I woke up in the night after having a very real and convincing dream in which I was ....erm... having 'intimate' relations with a very old friend whom I haven't actually seen in about 10 years. He was quite good looking then and is still pretty hot now - even though he is 40 (huh, like I'm some spring chicken).
All very bizarre as even in the dream I was pregnant but didn't appear to have a Husb and friend didn't mind at all that I was 'with child'. In fact I think he kinda liked it. It was so real it scares me. I woke up in quite a fluster - I had clearly enjoyed the experience, but then I got 'The Fear' about Husb rumbling my infidelity! It took a couple of seconds to remember that I hadn't actually done anything, it was all my sub-conscious. Ooops. I'm still trying to decide whether up to fess-up to my friend (we still chat on Facebook). He'd probably find it funny but I'd be mortified if he didn't.
Hmmmmm, that sounds sarcastic doesn't it? That wasn't the intention (for a change). I had my second midwife appointment today and ... [drum roll please].... it was WITH THE SAME ONE AS BEFORE!
It probably sounds odd to be so excited about that, but in the history of me talking to my friends, I don't know anyone who has had the same midwife twice. Seemingly I will have the same one next time too - she booked me in today in her little diary.
And to top it all off, the appointments are in a rather pleasant children's centre about 2 miles from my flat and exactly halfway between this flat and the (fingers crossed) new house we hope to move to in January. So I really am not being sarcastic when I say 'lucky me'.
It's all quite real now. 2 midwife appointments, a consultant appointment, 2 scans.... I guess it really does mean I am having a baby... GULP!
Bump is just starting to show. According to Husb, it doesn't look like podge anymore , it's actually starting to stick out and it's firmer now. Double gulp.
What is very nice is that fact I haven't actually put on any weight in the last 4 or 5 weeks. That really does deserve a 'lucky me' as I managed to put on around 10lbs in the first 12 weeks - aaarrrrggghhhhh! I think this was mainly due to me requiring solid carbs and mainly mashed potato for almost every meal. YUM! But not so yum on my waistline. It was slightly worrying that every report I read said that my baby weighed around an ounce and I had put on almost a stone. I was convinced that I would double my weight by May.
Okay, so I can't categorically rule that out, but the signs are better now. At least now we won't be doing the weekly commute to Yorkshire then I should be able to get some exercise in now too. Pregnancy yoga all booked for Saturday. Quite exciting really. I might be defeating the object though by arranging to have lunch with a friend straight afterwards though.... Oooops!
It's been a while since I last blogged and with good reason. My beautiful and wonderful mother in law became ill during October and unfortunately she passed away on the 4th November.
It was desperately sad and my heart still breaks when I remember how she looked in the hospital during her final hours and also how much it still affects my poor husband. The reason I'm going straight to hell is how my feelings are towards my widowed father in law.
I feel terrible for him as he has lost his wife of almost 50 years but - to cut a long story short - I cannot take any more of the selfishness, little-boy-lost, ungrateful, ignorant, and full of crap behaviour. I won't go into full details but Husb and I are now completely broke after discovering that his father had no provision of a funeral and on top of that had not a penny to his name. No matter what we do, there is always 'just one more thing' that he needs - either to buy or for us to do.
For a man of God he refuses to take any of his own advice and just likes to tell everyone how he will cope and how self sufficient he is, but in reality refuses to stay at home - ever - and hasn't cooked (or bought) a meal since his wife has been in hospital.
Now he is sitting in our little flat coughing and sneezing (he has a cold and for that I am sorry but it would be nice if he could cover his mouth occasionally seeing as I am 4 months pregnant with his 1st grandchild), breaking wind in a very loud and smelly fashion and not once even acknowledging what he is doing, has asked me and my husb to cut his toenails (as he can't reach - due to excessive weight that he has refused to try to lose for over 10 years) and generally behaves like a toddler continually asking the same questions - usually inane, pointless ones. The only difference is that a toddler actually listens and remembers after a while rather than having to repeat answers to the same questions that have been in play for several weeks.
If you can imagine an exasperated parent who is having to block out the constant cry of 'Muuuuuuuuum, muuuuuuuuuuuum, mum, mum, mum, MMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!' then you might have an idea of what Husb and I have been contending with for the last few weeks. Pretty sure that Husb wants to change his name.
Toddlers often forget that you saw things that they saw too. Again, this is my FIL. We have relived MIL's passing around 50 times and each time it changes slightly - like a game of Chinese Whispers - even though we were there too and know exactly what happened. Similarly we have had the funeral recounted to us a dozen times since Monday (including during a 5 hour drive back to London on Tuesday).
I don't expect someone who loses their partner of 50 years to just 'bounce back' and be 'normal' straight away but I do expect them to take some responsibility for themselves. He is a strong, relatively healthy 70 year old with so many friends and a massive church family who are all going out of their way to look after him but he insists on talking the talk but not walking the walk. If only the BS would disappear then maybe I would have a little more sympathy. He doesn't appreciate how lucky he is and that so many people have to contend with such tragedies all alone. He just keeps on taking and showing very little gratitude.
So there you go. I clearly do not have the tolerance to be a parent. I am clearly going straight to hell. What can i say, at least it's warm and my husband will be there with me.
Those words were uttered by Husb on Sunday evening when I sat on the sofa close to tears and declared
"I'm so BORED of eating!".
Anyone who knows me that I do not get bored of eating. Ever.
The problem is, I got smug. I got too smug regarding the lack of nausea and sickness during my pregnancy so far. You may have gathered from previous posts that it did start but it wasn't so bad. I'll be honest, (and forgive me for too much information) but I haven't actually been sick, I just feel it. A lot.
Basically, I have deduced that if I don't eat approximately every three hours, then I feel so awful that I think I might die.
On Sunday we had a ridiculously enormous dinner with my family to celebrate 3 birthdays. I knew when we got home around 7pm that I would not need to eat until breakfast. That is, until it got to around 9.30pm and the nausea kicked in again. I could not get off the sofa to even go to bed without having to clamp a hand over my mouth just in case. It was at this point I made my declaration.
The same thing happened yesterday lunchtime. I knew I was sailing close to my 3 hour deadline but decided to risk going out to get a sandwich in M&S. Big Mistake. I had to dash out, again with hand clamped over my mouth and back into the office. (it's fine to throw up in the office but not in Kensington M&S. It's just not done.)
Whilst my colleagues have seemingly not noticed my burgeoning, ever-expanding chest, they must have noticed that I'm eating constantly at my desk. They must have noticed the 7lbs that have already clung to my tummy and bum. For someone who is always on a diet, it must look odd.
I cannot wait til next week when, hopefully, I can come clean. Scan on Saturday. Fingers crossed....
TOWIE'S LAUREN 'I've aborted Mark's baby'
Lovely. I'm sure we all feel much better knowing that.
That headline greeted me at the cashdesk in Boots and it actually made me feel a little sick. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not one of those militant pro-lifers who go around torching abortion clinics, I'm very much pro-choice. I don't believe there should be legislation to decide whether a woman should have a baby or not - it is a personal choice and, on the whole, one that most women will make after a great deal of thought.
If I had been in a position where I had to make that decision (for whatever reason), I'm not sure that I would want to publicise it to the whole world and it's certainly not one that I would have wanted emblazoned in such a sensational way on the front of popular glossy. I'm sure I'm not alone.
I've never watched The Only Way is Essex. I have no idea who Lauren and Mark are, if they are still together or if they wish to scratch each other's eyes out. I do know that after seeing this, I have no desire to start watching. I also don't know if the article is a sensitive, sorry tale or actually rather vulgar and full of hate towards Mark - from the headline next to a smiling photo of someone I presume is Lauren, I would think it was the latter. It doesn't make me want to buy the magazine, it makes me think rather badly of the editorial team.
I have no ill-feelings towards Lauren for terminating her pregnancy, but I have nothing but disgust and disdain towards her for choosing to profit from it in this manner.
Have some respect for yourself woman. If you don't, then please don't expect anyone else to.
When i got married I did all the usual things of joining wedding sites and forums where I quickly discovered that most bride-to-bes are completely mental.
Seriously, proper, MENTAL. I'm amazed that most weddings even take place as if I planned to marry someone as barking as these women I would soon get cold feet and do a runner.
Undeterred, I have joined Babycentre to find out all about 'my little bundle of joy' (yep, you have to call your growing baby something pretty vomit-inducing, as if the usual nausea wasn't enough....!). The informative stuff is brilliant. The experts tell you enough to let you know what to expect and how to deal with everything but without scaremongering. We all know that being pregnant doesn't always end with a beautiful baby (or even a pretty ugly one) unfortunately and one should be prepared for that. Reality sucks but it is a fact of life.
Babycentre, naturally, has the usual forums and community boards. It seems that all the afore-mentioned women from the wedding sites are back and this time they have surging hormones. And husbands who are total arseholes. So, now I'm confused. How do this many mental women get husbands and then try to reproduce even though their husbands have morphed into neanderthals?
Not my problem.
I may just have to stick to the 'informative and factual' part of Babycentre and leave the loonies to their own chatter. Life really is too short for all that.
