tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41598158243465509382024-03-14T07:56:52.891+00:00Musings of a Short Wife....The ramblings and random thoughts of someone who never thought she would get married, let alone at an age when her friends were on 'second time around' or sending their children off to school and university.Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-27425953438294954172015-01-07T11:29:00.002+00:002015-01-07T11:29:39.784+00:00New Year, new start.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">New year, new start.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A lot has happened since my last post when I went off on one about my recently diagnosed overactive thyroid. It seems I didn't have that. And it seems I could get pregnant.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I have Hashimotos which means my thyroid swings from overactive to underactive a lot. By the time I met with the consultant it had gone to underactive and I was also pregnant. Less than a month after being told it's unlikely I would get pregnant, I found out I was.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Great news, except I'd stopped taking the folic acid and had been having a rather nice time eating and drinking (especially drinking) things I shouldn't have been whilst on holiday. Unfortunately the great news was relatively short-lived as, after not being treated for Hashimotos until I was almost 9 weeks pregnant, I sadly lost the baby 2 weeks after treatment started. Conversations with my consultant indicate that my condition and lack of treatment in the early stages was almost certainly the cause of the miscarriage. Not brilliant news but at least it helps to draw a line under things and accept there was nothing I could have done.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I won't lie, I still have a few wobbles, but I'm quite pragmatic about these things. If there was a problem I would rather know early in a pregnancy rather than 20 weeks down the line (or worse), I can't imagine what that must be like - losing at 11 weeks was horrendous physically and emotionally draining.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">With various other things going on at the end of the year too, I'm glad that Christmas helped to serve us all into getting back to happier times. So with the new year in full swing I'm determined that 2015 is going to be a much better year in almost every way.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I probably won't get much thinner and certainly won't get any taller but I will be calmer and more peaceful. I'm not making resolutions as such but I am determined to accept the things I cannot change and be thankful for the things I have (and just occasionally sing and dance like nobody is watching!).</span></div>
Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-59162416499920349032014-09-01T11:41:00.000+01:002014-09-01T11:41:06.652+01:00Just what the doctor ordered. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apparently I have an overactive thyroid.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When my doctor told me on Friday, I almost laughed it off, thinking how unfair it was that one of the symptoms is meant to be excessive weight loss. HA! Fat chance of that (if you'll pardon the pun) as this condition increases your metabolism. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He didn't make it sound terribly serious and told me that he would refer me to an endocrinologist (without actually telling me what that was) and they would sort me out with some drugs. I pushed a little further to see what the implications were - I was worried this would cause me to put on the weight I had fought so hard to lose this last month. All he could reply was that I needed to lose weight as my BMI was too high (tell me something I don't know) and it's all about calories. Really? Gosh, I hadn't noticed. Perhaps you would care to ask me about my diet and exercise? No? Okay doc, I get the point, I must just eat too many cakes and sit on the sofa all day... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Realising i was going to have find out for myself I went home to do exactly that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wow. Not that serious? So now I'm more stressed that I've ever been (and apparently that is also a symptom). Let's look at the list shall we...</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>* Feeling nervous, irritable or hyperactive</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ask my husband. I think he will confirm at least 2 out of those 3. The dentist has confirmed that I have been grinding my teeth in my sleep for years - I am wearing them down and I have jaw, ear and headache a lot. </span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* Sweating more than usual & unable to cope with heat.</i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, something I have complained to my doctor about for years, even resulting in taking tablets for hyperhidrosis and having underarm botox injections. Unnecessary perhaps?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Does that explain why I can't even run for 10 seconds for a train without looking like someone has chucked water over my face?</span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* tremors/shaking</i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After short bursts of exercise, the hands go.</span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* Muscle weakness. </i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh so you mean falling over all the time isn't normal? Rolling my ankles on an almost daily basis to the point I sprained them so badly a few months ago that I couldn't walk for 2 days and there is still some swelling and my chances of going running again are pretty much shot - that's just one of those things is it?</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>* Palpitations and increased heart rate</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The fact my heart rate goes off the scale during a run isn't just down to me being unfit (even though I did this 3 times a week for years) considering my resting heart rate has always been really low. And the palpitations that I asked the doctor about 4 years ago... not in my imagination then? Oh and the low blood-pressure ? Yep that's a symptom too. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>* thinning or loss of hair, more susceptible to greying.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It comes out in handfuls at every brush and my hair dye receipts are racking up.</span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* having more frequent bowel movements/diarrhoea </i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So not IBS then as diagnosed? Excellent. </span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* excessive weight loss and increased appetite.</i><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">erm. Nope. Seemed to have dodged that one - the only one I could have coped with.</span><br />
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<i style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* reduced fertility and complications in pregnancy.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The reason the tests were done in the first place... Probably the reason I lost 2 pregnancies during the first year of trying and now, since Boychild was born, the reason I'm struggling again with the likelihood of at least one loss around Christmas last year. It's a miracle we managed to have a child at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These are all 'minor' things when you look at them, however the more you read the worse it gets. Without treatment, this can cause blood clots, stroke, heart attack, problems with your vision including sensitivity to light and blurring (yep, had all that too).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know that self-diagnosis is a dangerous and scary thing, but when your doctor doesn't talk to you then you have little choice. At least now I am armed for when my referral comes through. Particularly given we are still trying for another baby. The drugs are required to help but aren't conducive necessarily to being pregnant. Brilliant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't misunderstand me, I know that one or two of the things I have experienced over the last 10 years could well have coincidental and nothing to do with my thyroid and given that the most obvious symptom (weight loss) I don't seem to have suffered from then it's easy to see how this was overlooked. But if you look at everything together isn't it obvious?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, it's all something else for me to worry about. Brilliant. Just what the doctor ordered. </span></div>
Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073509 -0.1277582999999822351.1912379 -0.77320529999998222 51.8234639 0.51768870000001777tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-43428344297126907602014-04-11T11:30:00.002+01:002014-04-11T11:30:45.164+01:00People in glass houses...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can I just start by saying that I do not like or condone the tumblr site entitled 'Women who eat on tubes'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I just had to put up that disclaimer because when discussing this with a colleague this morning, she clearly misunderstood and seemed to think I was, in some way, defending the actions of the person 'running' the site. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For the uninitiated among us, this is webpage that invites you to send photos taken of women eating on the London Underground. And 99.9% of the time, these women are blissfully unaware of their image being circulated.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My first thought was 'What? And men DON'T eat on tubes?' closely followed by a number of alternatives I could think of involving chaps who open their legs so wide you can't sit on the seat next to them perhaps called 'I think I have a large **** dot com'. You see, we all have our own 'thing' and pet-hate about public transport or public displays or basically the public in general. But once you stop making them your own private pet-hate and putting them out on general display you do have to think about things a little more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are many things wrong about the concept of 'Women who eat on tubes' ( I'm sure it will be discussed ad nauseam online and off), not the least that photos are being taken and posted without permission. The thing that particularly sticks in my craw is the condemnation in the 'witty' captions below some of the pictures. For example 'three little piggies' and my personal favourite</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"She had a bag of Vanilla Party Wafers and a carrier bag full of toilet roll and no matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t stop jamming those party wafers in her mouth. "</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not 'eating'?. She was 'jamming them in her mouth'. Really? So were they actually being forced in until she couldn't move her face or was she basically eating them one at a time but you thought this was gluttonous behaviour and had to make a big deal of pointing out how disgusting you thought this was?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From what I understand, the website became famous this week when a female journalist was snapped and posted online. She was then told about her photograph being there by a friend. Since then, the journalist has been in touch with the administrator of the site and had her image removed. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But for her to know about the photograph being there, someone she knew must have been perusing the page to spot her. So clearly they thought it was okay to look at strangers but thought it's not on for their friend to be ridiculed in this way. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This made me think - as, it appears, did the journalist in question. If this site is offensive to me (and her) then what about other similar sites? 'Look at my fucking red trousers' is one such site where, again, the public is invited to send in photos of (predominantly) men wearing fairly loud red trousers (you can see, the clue is the name ...). I'll admit it , I've looked at that site and found it amusing. I know many others who have thought the same. From what I recall, the captions are nowhere near as scathing although I may be recalling it through rose-tinted specs. Would I be happy if my picture appeared with me eating a bag of crisps on the Circle Line? Probably not. But in reality these two sites should probably not be treated any differently - in my most humble opinion.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">You have to decide in which camp you are going to fall. If you are in the camp who is happy to chuckle away at other members of the public in garish clothes (or similar) then personally I don't think you have the right to be offended by something like 'Women who eat on tubes'. If you are offended (and that is your absolute right) then surely you have rescinded your rights to laugh at others in a similar way. It's made me take an alternative look at things and hopefully will change the way I share online. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If these webpages are to exist and are not intended to upset or offend anyone then all they need to do is ask the subject's permission to take a photo and upload it. If the people being photographed are 'in' on the joke and are happy to participate then I can't see any problem with it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh and perhaps also not make a crass comment about being a pig just because they are eating would help too. You know, that thing that everyone does several times a day...</span></span><br />
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-553866484794950992014-03-21T11:48:00.000+00:002014-03-21T11:48:12.678+00:00Kensington Muses...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Working in Kensington for almost 10 years has upsides (FABULOUS shops) and downsides (it's bloody miles from where I live) but there are a few things I've noticed recently that drive me mad about it. Well, they make me shrug a bit anyway...</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* If you don't push the 'Wait' button at a pelican crossing, the lights will never go red to allow you to cross. I don't think people in Kensington have quite got that concept yet.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* Red lights at pelican crossings apply to EVERYONE. That includes the following people: 1) Young chap in the clapped-out fiesta who 'beeped' us pedestrians who dared to cross the road when the green man was visible, whilst he revved his engine and inched forward aggressively. 2) The cyclist who narrowly missed me and several other pedestrians as he ran the red without even slowing down last week. 3) the chap with the trailer on his bicycle who almost crashed this morning when he realised the lights were red (I think the stationary cars and preceding amber light should have been your cue)</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* So far the cleaning of the pedestrianised square, on which my office is situated, has taken 3 chaps more than 4 days to jet wash and they are still going. It's about the size of an average primary school playground. It looks no different to how it did on Monday when they started. They must be getting paid by the hour.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* Famous people only come out to play in the shops I used almost every day on the days I decide not to bother. Adele spent a couple of hours in the kids section of H&M the one day I didn't go in last month. Prince Harry went into the office next door on the day I worked from home. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">*Cycling on the wrong side of Kensington High Street is, apparently, perfectly acceptable if the traffic lights are red. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* Grandmothers navigating pushchairs seem to think it's also perfectly acceptable to steer their charges into the paths of oncoming traffic if the pedestrian crossing isn't working fast enough for them. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* I am not phased in the slightest by the armed policemen walking up to the Police Checkpoint at Kensington Palace Gardens even though they are carrying bloody great rifles with their fingers poised on the trigger. I feel this should scare me slightly more than it does. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* The Circle line. </span><br />
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-27904990776645624762014-03-05T16:02:00.001+00:002014-03-05T16:02:22.157+00:00WTF?????<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I happened upon an article in 'Mother & Baby' today and followed the <a href="http://www.dadontherun.com/2014/02/dont-like-kids-how-very-childish.html" target="_blank">link</a>. In a nutshell, it was a blog about a letter that had been pushed under a hotel door complaining about the occupants' crying baby. The neighbours to aforementioned crying baby decided to wait 2 days before taking action. </span><div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What action did they take?</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They could have knocked on the door of their neighbour on the pretence of checking everything was okay, thus alerting the parents to the thinness of the hotel walls.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They could have called reception to ask them to do something - taking the pressure and awkwardness away from them.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They could have had a quiet word with the parents the following morning.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or, if all else failed, they could have spoken with the hotel to see how long the baby was staying and then to request a change of room. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They did none of those things. They waited til they were leaving and pushed an anonymous note under the door telling the parents how irresponsible they were, how inconsiderate they were and how disgraceful they were. They said that a baby had no place in a hotel at a ski resort - a resort that was also hosting a conference that baby's father was part of, and a hotel that offered baby facilities/kids clubs etc, so not an adult-only one. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">By this point the parents had no chance to speak to their neighbours to apologise or try to explain. It appears, the baby in question was teething. Ahhhhh, teething. That amazing phenomenon that comes and goes without warning and strikes fear into the hearts and minds of parents everywhere. You see, one day your little cherub could be a gummy, laughing bundle of joy and the next she will take the form of the secret love child of Damian from the Omen and Linda Blair from the Exorcist. Within hours this beast could have vanished once more only to reappear an random times over the course of anything up to three years. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I feel for both parties in this situation. I've been on the other side of wall to noisy neighbours and I've also been the frazzled, powerless parent to an inconsolable child in the middle of the night. It's nerve-shattering on both counts. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My biggest objection to this kind of note is that if the Sleep Thief had been a 6'4" drunken Footballer or a mass of Spring Break youngsters or even a very amorous couple, I imagine the writers would have been on the phone to the hotel reception immediately. They would never have left a note for those people and they certainly would not have waited 2 days/nights to make a complaint. But because the perpetrator was a small baby being looked after by some desperate, tired, possibly tearful parents then BAM! Hit them where it hurts. Something they can look at whenever they need to just to remind themselves what crap parents they really are. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't misunderstand me. There are places that you simply should not take your baby - in my opinion. Places like bars and pubs that do not welcome children particularly in the evening, cinemas (unless it's a baby friendly showing), theatres and adult-only hotels. If you take a child to one of those places and it screams it's head off then please don't be offended when you are asked to leave . However, as far as I am concerned, if somewhere is a public place and does not specify 'no children' then it's fair game. Particularly in a family-friendly hotel. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The notion that, as parents, you should not take your child ANYWHERE if there is the remotest chance it could cry or make some other noise (laugh, maybe?) is ludicrous. I refer back to my <a href="http://musingsofashortwife.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/let-judgement-begin.html" target="_blank">previous posting</a> about it becoming acceptable to berate parents for noisy children but nobody will ask the annoying cretin on the train to stop yelling down his phone or to turn down his music or refrain from picking his nose etc. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Clearly parents and children should only be together in the privacy of their own homes and never leave that place unless the child is sedated, bound or gagged. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But to be honest, the thing that actually floored me was the response to this <a href="http://www.dadontherun.com/2014/02/dont-like-kids-how-very-childish.html" target="_blank">guy's blog posting</a>. I haven't read all the comments but generally there seems to be a huge rally of people suggesting this guy is an arsehole for thinking the note was wrong and that the people who wrote the note had a point. And that's possibly the least offensive way I could describe it. I am stunned, genuinely stunned. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1. If you are an adult, then you were once a child. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. If you were a child then you were [at least] once very annoying to someone other than a family member.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. If you have children and your children didn't upset or annoy anyone other than yourself, ever, then you are either a) lying b) deluded c) someone who boarded their children in their rooms until they were 18. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. If you don't have children then can you be sure that you have never made a nuisance of yourself to anyone else in public? ie: never been drunk in a public place, shouted at a friend or lover in public, used bad language language loudly on a train or in a restaurant, walked home late at night in a built-up area and not been as quiet as you could have been, never had a party even though your neighbours were sleeping, revved your car very early in the morning... the list is endless. If you've never done any of those things then you are either a) lying b) deluded 3) were one of the kids who was boarded in their room until they were 18 and are now too scared to breathe. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. If you never want to be bothered by children or anyone else for that matter in public, might I suggest that you never leave the safety and sanctity of your own house. Just a thought. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Most parents (and yes, I use the term 'most') are more than aware that their little darlings can be irritating as hell and will go out of their way to avoid upsetting people but having a child does not mean you don't go out or go on holiday</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> or shop or take public transport or eat out. And we will continue to go about our daily lives in much the same way as your parents did when you were annoying, irritating and noisy little ankle biters. </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">If you promise you won't argue with someone outside my house late at night, or get drunk in the daytime and fall into the path of my pushchair, or have sex loudly in the hotel room next door to mine (yes I'm talking about you, you weird, noisy couple in San Francisco in May 2011) then I will promise not to take my child into an inappropriate place and bother you. </span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-4411963093801883992014-01-30T12:23:00.002+00:002014-01-30T12:23:41.097+00:00Proud mummy!?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boychild is a bit bright. Well actually, he's very bright. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There I've said it. The world didn't implode, nobody died and nobody is any worse off now it's out there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All children make their parents proud and there is no better feeling (when you're a parent, that is) than when your little one reaches a milestone, be it walking, talking, becoming potty-trained etc. And, as parents, we do like to share these little titbits especially with our peers. It's not meant as one-up-manship or belittling their own offspring's efforts if they have not yet achieved them, it's just our way of being proud. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've always been cautious and tried not to be a baby bore but yes, I did announce 'we have a walker!' on Facebook at the appropriate time. But generally if a reference is made to Boychild's abilities it's usually because it's part of an amusing anecdote rather than being the focus. For example, I recently posted something on Facebook about him not quite 'getting' the Christmas thing as even into January he is insisting on eating from a Christmas bowl, keeps singing Christmas songs and looking up our chimney to try to find Santa. A friend of mine posted that her child won't even say 'mummy' yet, let alone sing a song! Her son was born on the same day as mine. So what did i do? I dumbed down my comment and suggested that he wasn't exactly Robbie Williams just yet (he's really not!) but as a mum you can understand the jumbled words that come out of your own child's mouth more than anyone else. And I'd deciphered 'santa', 'chimney', toys' so knew what he was trying to sing. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHNQhorIvFRSeNLlhgg-f8ju82NtrjKFFhNBhuPg_epzvobWivBNhPP5P9WhZLR81qqAWjhsJJrIR0h6U6cajQIssS-GQBXaEyoPJQhm9OOD32b9xSwWhjqXWECVQmu5U_2CMlbyBJd3TZ/s1600/smileyfred.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHNQhorIvFRSeNLlhgg-f8ju82NtrjKFFhNBhuPg_epzvobWivBNhPP5P9WhZLR81qqAWjhsJJrIR0h6U6cajQIssS-GQBXaEyoPJQhm9OOD32b9xSwWhjqXWECVQmu5U_2CMlbyBJd3TZ/s1600/smileyfred.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The one who makes me laugh every day. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What I failed to mention was that if I sang along with him, he interjected those words in the correct places and la-la-la'd along in all the places he didn't know the words. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know that my friend will not be concerned that my son can do this when hers can't (she's a pretty clued up kinda gal) especially as she already has an older son, so she knows the score. She also knows that her little boy had a beautiful shock of hair and mouthful of teeth before I had even worked out what teething powder and baby shampoo was even for. He was pretty advanced on that score and, even now, Boychild isn't blessed in the teeth department! But other readers would be looking and judging and making assumptions about both of our children - good and bad. And probably making assumptions on our parenting styles too. But they would never say, oh no. (snigger) </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But I have to have some kind of output for my happiness that my son is a mini-genius (okay, perhaps that is a little exaggerated...). He's just 20 months old and knows all his colours, can count from 1 - 12 depending on who he's with and whether he can be bothered, he feeds himself (unless he's being lazy), chats away to his toys (coherently), makes himself understood about what he wants when he asks a question, understands that people he can't see do still exist and where they are at that time (quite a massive concept for a small child), can form pretty good sentences and is well on the way to understanding consequences. He also recognises emotions and tells us when someone is happy or sad, and then tries to comfort the person or toy in question. He understands jokes and misdirection. He understands the concept of sharing and tries to share his food with us and his toys. Things that often children don't understand or can't do until the age of 2, 3 or 4. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I knew most of this , but the rest (especially the 1 - 12 counting) was told to me by his key worker at nursery last night at parents evening. Boychild adores CF, his key worker, and it's clear that she adores him too. He talks about her when he's at home and she will often attempt to have her day off on a day Boychild isn't at the nursery. But, even if she's not there, he is still perfectly happy to go to any other carer and then comes home talking about them too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am immensely proud of my little munchkin and I love him enormously but the fact he can do these things has made our life a little different to many of my friends with children of a similar age. We've struggled to travel much or eat out (or shop!) as he is difficult to keep entertained when confined to a chair. He was a terrible sleeper for over a year and responded to none of the tried and tested tricks - even the Health Visitor was at a loss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He will seldom just sit on your lap - not even when he was 4 months old. He wanted to be on the floor to roll about and explore his toys. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At first, this upset me. I felt like the odd one out and whenever I went for coffee with other new mums, I was always the one standing and jigging about entertaining a newborn whilst the others slept for HOURS in their prams or on their mother's laps. I was the one on my knees with exhaustion when, even at 12 months old, he needed attention several times a night for no reason other than to say 'hello'. I was the one feeling jealous of mothers going shopping as their tiny babies slept peacefully, waking only for a feed and cuddle as I watched on with a screaming child who settled only if you kept walking and never stopped to browse or make a purchase. To the point of me failing to even try after 3 solid months of hell. Bring on grocery deliveries and online shopping!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As time has gone on, I do know of one or two other parents with children who became more like mine when they hit walking and talking age and that makes me feel better. To be honest, my biggest fear is being able to keep him entertained and stimulated enough as he gets older. But I'm sure it won't come to that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also know that the children who haven't reached the same milestones yet, will do so very soon. There is no right or wrong. All toddlers are different - thank goodness! - and at what point they speak or count or walk will not matter a jot in the future. They all level out eventually and I'm sure that by the time they hit school age, none of us will be able to tell who did what first. Likewise, if we have a second child, I'm sure that he or she will be more in line with regular expectations and that will probably confuse me all the more as I'll have to learn to deal with a whole new set of challenges.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I suppose what I'm trying to say is that unfortunately I see myself dumbing down and belittling Boychild's achievements and efforts to avoid upsetting or worrying my friends because he can do something that their child cannot. I know there will be camps of people who think that we've been drilling our little darling at maths and english and lord knows what else, but we really haven't. All we do is what most people do. We play with him and we talk to him. He watches TV, he builds with blocks, he pushes his cars and trains around, pretends to make us a cup of tea, talks to his soft toys and calls them his friends and he looks at his books and we read to him. All the stuff that most children will do most of the time. I guess having a father who is a bit of a boff probably helps too though! Clearly he's not getting this from his mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, I just want to say somewhere (here) that I am unbelievably proud of him and I love him more than life itself. He makes me laugh every single day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am also thrilled and excited when you share your news that your little darling learnt to crawl today and that your munchkin said 'Daddy' and fed herself or successfully used the potty. I want to share your excitement too as all kids are amazing in their own way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But for now I will keep my 'boasting' on here and not on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram as I know I will be labelled a pushy parent or someone who just wants to gloat. I know that's not the case and most of my friends know that's not true, but we all know that once you get on social media there are plenty of people who like to stick their oar in.</span><br />
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-3639801170991663252014-01-21T16:28:00.000+00:002014-01-22T11:27:33.607+00:00Katie Hopkins - does it really matter?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After reading yet another scathing attack on mothers, of various varieties but predominantly ones that do not work (and get paid for it, as opposed to the work they do at home with the kids), I was about to launch into another round of Katie Hopkins bashing but then stopped myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because, let's face it, in the real world - a world far, far away from the one Ms Hopkins inhabits - she doesn't matter and it doesn't matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She has some kind of ritual dislike of anyone weighing more than 8 stone and makes the assumption that if you are overweight you obviously smoke too and probably feed your children turkey twizzlers and lard for breakfast. Likewise if you dare to recycle in any way, you clearly are a hippy who doesn't use deodorant, and washes your hair in rain water. You probably aren't either of these types, but maybe you have traits of one or both of them. But my point is ...SO WHAT! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't agree with her views and I have quite a few of my own that other people may not agree with, however it's unlikely I'll ever be invited on Phil & Holly to row with Peaches Geldof about them (if the truth be told, I'd probably be on Peaches' side anyway).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Being a mum is a tough job. Always has been and always will be. Our mothers and grandmothers may not have had so many mod cons to help them but then they also didn't have domestic energy bills that Solomon would have struggled to pay. Chances are, our children will have a different set of issues to contend with, along with the standard 'terrible twos', sibling rivalry, food battles and sleep thieving. And however they choose to take those battles on, there will always be a Katie Hopkins waiting in the wings to tell them they are doing it wrong.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We just need to learn to let it wash over us and stop telling ourselves that we should listen or take notice or be angry or frustrated. Life is too short and on the whole, mums of every kind are doing an okay job. Their charges are fed, clothed, educated, kept safe and, most importantly, loved. Yes, they may not have had a proper face wash last night, and Saturday's tea might have consisted of a frozen pizza but the last time I looked, that never did anyone any harm. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She doesn't matter and it doesn't matter. </span></div>
Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-44771007328414467792014-01-09T11:48:00.002+00:002014-01-09T11:48:35.010+00:00Let the judgement begin...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something occurred to me recently, whilst attempting to calm Boychild down enough to eat dinner - we dared to schedule it 90 seconds into an episode of 'Timmy Time'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We, as parents, are constantly bombarded with disapproving looks, comments and rolled eyes on trains, in coffee shops, in restaurants and in shops, for the crime of having a child who has decided to choose that moment to throw a tantrum within eye/earshot of a childless person. If that wasn't enough, we then have to put up with endless online comments on how bad we are as parents to put up with that kind of behaviour and 'allowing' our offspring to ruin the atmosphere and quiet for everyone. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So what do we do? We find a way to hush them as quickly as possible. We couldn't possibly upset the chap working from his 'office' in Costa Coffee or the lemon-sucking-faced couple with the perfect [read 'boring'] toddlers sitting reading Price and Prejudice on the 12.34 to London Bridge. Anyway, I digress, we are hushing them up...And how do we do that exactly? Usually in the way that we try to avoid most of the time - bribery. Generally in the form of food, or more specifically, the food you don't really want them to have too much of. Or else giving back the toy you had just taken away as they had thrown it on the floor in a temper far too many times.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In doing so, we are doing the things we don't agree with and would never do at any other time. It goes against how we usually discipline and try to bring up our children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So what am I saying exactly? Do you think the judgemental childless people in these establishments realise what they are doing? Rather than helping to mould these kids they are, in effect, telling them they are likely to be rewarded for being a pain in the arse. They are helping to turn them into the little brats that we have been trying to prevent. I'm not saying anyone should have to listen to a screaming child in a public place unnecessarily but, when dealt with correctly, tantrums rarely last that long. And believe me, if it looks as though one is about to go on too long, most parents WANT to vacate the area so won't subject others to it for longer than they have to. But if we don't let them tantrum it out from time to time, they will learn to use their tantrums as a bargaining chip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm also not saying that parents can offload the blame onto others either but just think about it... When that child screeches or even has the audacity to cry because it is simply a newborn and that it's what they do, do you think the parent wants to listen to it too? Do you think they have become immune?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NO!! They are embarrassed, often very tired, and acutely aware of how irritating their child or baby is being. At the point when said child is reaching their peak, if you look closely you will see other parents casting sympathetic looks across the coffee shop. And in the case of a new mother alone with her small crying bundle you may also see the beginning of tears.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are plenty of annoying people in public most of the time but nobody would dream of picking on the fat bloke obstructing the pavement or aisle, nor would you confront the girl playing crap music from her phone or the commuter who refuses to switch off the annoying key tones whilst texting, so why is it fair game </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to tut loudly and comment loudly to parents who, most of the time, are doing the best they can?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Perhaps all those Katy-Hopkins-a-likes out there should start looking inside their own glasshouses before trying to throw stones into other people's. </span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-33116225753715471922014-01-03T15:36:00.001+00:002014-01-03T15:41:25.755+00:00Happy new year!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it's that time again. Last turkey butty finished and decs back in the loft. It's been an odd Christmas. Five days of my father in law (enough to tip Mother Theresa over the edge) and a one year old who thinks sleep is for wimps and that's before cooking for 8 on Christmas day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But all the knackeredness aside, one thing that has consistently made me smile is my one year old's new found appreciation of music.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He's always liked singing (us not him) but in the last couple of weeks everything changed. From starting to sing the odd word along to the Christmas song in the car to asking for a particular CD to be played so he can sing and dance along. It seems that he also can't play with building blocks without singing either, every round of duplo is accompanied by some random lalala-ing. Brilliant to watch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I won't lie, I'm a bit of a soft sap. But there is something wonderful about dancing your little one around while he adds the 'shooby-dos' to Robbie singing 'I'm the king of the swingers' and I did well up a little when he wanted me to dance with him as we watched some 'greatest dance moments' on TV on new year's eve as he tried to copy Thriller (hysterical!). I'm pretty sure he's dancing or asking for the radio on every half hour. And the singing is getting more coherant and the dancing even wilder every time. He is amazing and it makes him so happy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know the old phrase 'dance like nobody's watching' gets thrown around a lot but that's the lovely thing about toddlers... They don't care who is watching and it only adds to the excitement and fun if someone is. So that's my resolution sorted for this year. Dance more, smile more and worry less. Sometimes toddlers are smarter than we give them credit for.</span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-12063022344904007922013-11-05T17:37:00.000+00:002013-11-05T17:39:14.346+00:00Night out sabotage <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before I start, I will openly admit that I am a lucky mum. Almost every Tuesday evening my parents collect Boychild from nursery and have him sleepover with them whilst they look after him the next day. It saves them getting up at the crack of dawn to come to my house to look after him every Wednesday morning. This, in itself, is a massive luxury and I'm sure that there are many envious parents out there. However my parents are, pretty much, our only babysitters so unless we take full advantage of them on a Tuesday then Husb and I would never leave the house together between the hours of 7pm and 7am. I think the last time we did was 6 months ago for my own 40th birthday party. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BUT, over the last 2 months we have managed to take advantage of this weekly reprieve maybe twice - tonight being one of them - as I swear there is a higher power looking down laughing and deliberately trying to sabotage date night. In fact whenever there is a chance for us to spend time together, something has to happen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most recent highlight was 3 weeks ago. It was Husb's birthday. We had both booked Monday off work to enjoy a lovely day shopping, lunching and going to the cinema whilst Boychild was looked after by his nursery. But no. On Saturday Boychild didn't sleep well. On Sunday, at exactly the moment we arrived at a 2 year old's birthday party, he turned into limpet child and clung to me tearfully whilst barely keeping himself awake. He didn't want food or music or games. By the time we got home he swung between inconsolable and pretty unresponsive. Finally we managed to get him to drink some milk... he promptly threw it back up all over his father. NHS direct suggested a trip to A&E - brilliant. So we spent 3 hours in a germ-ridden, fluorescent-lit torture chamber to be told he just had a virus and he wasn't dehydrated but to keep an eye on him and let him eat whatever he wants even if it is chocolate hob-nobs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, we could hardly send him to nursery the following morning could we? So we spent the day letting him eat what he wanted, watch what he wanted on CBeebies and nap when he wanted, whilst we bummed around at home (secretly quite enjoying the no stress family time) . But alas, no lunch, no cinema and no unaccompanied shopping.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following night (a Tuesday...) we planned to go for a curry with friends to celebrate Husb's birthday. Before we left, I put the bins out (important point, not just an aside). Two hours later, I was sitting in the restaurant pushing my fist into my back to try to unknot the muscle torturing me. As I stood up to leave the restaurant I realised I could barely walk and was having trouble breathing!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A visit to the docs the following day, after a sleepless night and taking half an hour just to roll over in bed, informed me that, not only did I have muscle strain, but it had caused a bout of pleurisy! I ONLY PUT THE BINS OUT!! Am I really that weak and pathetic?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A week later, I could finally walk to the end of the road and back without laboured breathing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is just the tip of the iceberg. If either of us is due a stomach bug, urgent work deadline, family crisis (delete as applicable) it will always happen on a Tuesday evening. I can guarantee it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am due to meet Husb and several friends in a pub near Waterloo in an hour. I am still waiting for the phone to go and someone to tell me Boychild has chicken pox or that we have been burgled, or the pipes have burst. I am almost frightened to go brush my hair and change my boots. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wish me luck! </span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-82343642605179984692013-08-09T15:20:00.001+01:002013-08-09T15:20:56.364+01:00When does the crying stop?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No, not my son's crying ... my own.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have always been a 'bit of a sensitive soul' - not that I'd ever admit it. I managed to hide my cinema-sobbing from my hubby quite well for at least the first 3 years of our relationship and a well-timed 'scoff', poking fun at the corny romance of a film served me well on many an occasion to mask my impending tears!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then came the hormones. Not the pretend hormones that creep up every few weeks, I'm talking about the full-on Rambo hormones that descend in early pregnancy and disappear around...well, I'm not too sure when they disappear. At this rate I think they will be putting me in my box before they finally leave. These Super-Hormones make it impossible for you learn any sad news without blubbing like a toddler who's had his teddy taken away. </span></div>
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<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This week, I was privileged to attend a private screening of a new film due to be released in the Autumn. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fr88sVLxVeo" target="_blank">Philomena, featuring Dame Judi Dench and Steve Coogan.</a> I think I was barely 10 minutes into the film before I was silently wiping my face and chin. This continued during regular intervals throughout the course of the film. On this occasion though, I would defy anyone not be moved by parts of this story - based on true events. A young woman in Ireland gives birth to her illegitimate son without proper medical intervention and then has him taken away from her as a toddler so he can be 'sold' and adopted by a wealthy family. The film tells of her 50 year silence, covering up her 'dirty little secret' until she finally has to find out what became of him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is a wonderful film but it's difficult to say that I enjoyed it because, in reality, it broke my heart. The cruelty and ignorance of a bunch of nuns (don't get me started on organised religion...) and the damning of innocent young women by society makes my blood boil. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know that if I had watched it 3 years ago in the days Before Boychild, I would have had a little sob, but watching it now I was reduced to a snivelling wreck! The thought of anyone taking my son away and giving me no information on his whereabouts or well-being would probably kill me. I only have to think about the film and it brings tears to my eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a younger woman, my own mum and many others would tell me how, as a mother, you would lay down your own life for your child without a second thought. I'll be honest, I always thought they were being slightly melodramatic. But it's true. I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do in order to keep Boychild safe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, I digress. Even as I write this, my cousin has posted a picture on Facebook of the newly erected headstone at her sister's grave. She died aged 34, leaving two children who are still only at primary school. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I took one glance and I'm already off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Basically, I have to accept that I will be emotionally crippled forever. I can't even read a book to my son without getting a little teary sometimes. A few weeks ago he leaned in and gave me a sloppy wet kiss for the first time and it was completely spontaneous and unprompted. I cried. Somebody on Facebook recently implied I was 'abandoning my son to strangers' by leaving him at nursery to come to work and I was almost rendered inconsolable (followed by an overwhelming desire to punch them in the face).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It looks like I will have to spend the rest of my life travelling with a big box of tissues and wearing waterproof mascara. And I don't care. I guess that's what unconditional love does to you. </span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-63220846876203742262013-08-01T11:48:00.000+01:002013-08-01T11:48:39.732+01:00Sad times<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I had to turn the news off before I left home and stop
reading the paper on the train all because of the story about Daniel Pelka, the little boy tortured and
eventually killed by his mother and her partner. I turned it off not because I didn't want to
hear about it but purely because I couldn't get myself in a state before
leaving for work, nor could I sit on the train crying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have always struggled to understand how anyone could abuse
or torture a child but since having a son of my own I am at a complete loss as
to what the motivation is for prolonged abuse.
Yes, children are challenging.
Yes, they are frustrating and sometimes they will push you to limits you
can only imagine. But their innocence
and unconditional trust in you is enough to (usually) melt the hardest of
hearts. And if it doesn't, feeling their
arms around your neck whilst giving you a sloppy kiss will. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You often read stories of mothers with chronic depression
and mental illness who ‘snap’ and kill themselves and their children, or about
a parent at the end of their tether who lashes out a child and hits them. It might sound strange but I can see how that
happens. Mental illness, sleep deprivation, lack of support and desperation can
lead people to do very strange things and it’s very sad when something like
that happens. But this story is on a
whole new level that leaves me feeling sick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At his death, this 4 year old child weighed 21lbs. 1½ stone.
My son is 14 months old and
weighs the same. And he is deemed to be
quite small for his age. Let’s just
think about that for a minute. A 4 year
old weighed the same as a small toddler.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m sure there will be recriminations flying about all over
the place now blaming teachers and social services but let’s not forget, it
wasn’t them who inflicted the injuries on this child. It was his biological mother and her partner.
Every article I have read details how he
was locked in a cold room with no food, no access to the toilet and no contact
with anyone else. He was held under the
water in his bath until he passed out.
He was force fed salt. He was
sent to school with almost no lunch and was found by teachers trying to eat
from the bins, stealing from other kids’ lunchboxes and picking up food from
dirty floors. Teachers repeatedly flagged
up concerns over his welfare, his continuing weight loss and appearance. But what powers do they have? None.
They can only follow procedures and report it to authorities and try to
speak to the child’s parents. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two things strike me about this story. Firstly, how can a mother do that to her own
son? I understand that often women are
frightened of a violent partner fearing for their own safety too. However there is every indication that she
was a willing participant in this exhausting torrent of abuse this child
suffered. Maybe I don’t have all the
facts but I’m struggling to believe she is nothing other than guilty – as was
confirmed by a jury this week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Secondly, how was he left to suffer this by the social services. How could someone think that an emaciated
child is happy and healthy? And if The
Telegraph has its facts straight, a doctor deemed him underweight but nothing
more 3 weeks before his death. I hope
that doctor can sleep at night. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If this was an isolated incident, it would be a very sad
story and we would hope that nothing like this would ever be allowed to happen
again. But it’s not. I’m sure everyone
remembers Baby P who died in 2007 after a similar experience. That child was less than 18 months old. Today I also found a story about a couple
in Belgium who repeatedly abused their children for years. I can’t even write about some of the things
these children endured. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2013/06/03/abusive-parents-waterboarded-children-belgium/" target="_blank">read more about it here. </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know what the answer is, but for now I am just glad this beautiful little boy is in a much happier place. And I hope it is a very long time before I have to stop reading a newspaper on the train again. </span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-45544786840534527822013-07-17T10:22:00.000+01:002013-07-17T10:22:34.197+01:00The rise of the Trolls...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love the internet. I really do. I only wish it had been around when I was at school. I can't believe I spent so many hours in our local library researching and scribbling and adding to my bibliography at the end of every assignment.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But that's not really what I want to say. On the whole, I think the internet is amazing. And not just for the fun stuff. Of course, with every good thing there inevitably comes bad. Yes there are sick people who like to use the internet for heinous acts but, thankfully, they are the minority.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The internet users that worry me and make me most sad are the 'Trolls'. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am a firm believer in not putting in an email something you wouldn't say in a telephone conversation and that should apply to comments and opinions made on the internet. Unless your life, or the lives of your nearest and dearest, are in danger, then there is no reason for the complete anonymity some people hide behind just so they can go online to slag off and put down just about everyone else. If you want to say something or sound your opinion because it's what you believe in then just bloody say it and be proud of it and put your name to it. Don't hide behind your keyboard.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am, however, also a believer in the very old fashioned view of 'If you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all'. Although I will admit there are shades of grey with that one. I like to think that unnecessary cruelty or rudeness should be avoided but if a friend asks me an opinion in a fitting room then I will give it even if it's not what she might want to hear. I will, however, do it in a diplomatic way. Cruelty avoided, see?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like a lot of people, I tend to read a lot of newspaper articles online and I freely admit that it's not always from the publications I would buy. (ahem, The Daily Mail cough cough. please don't judge me). If I've googled a story then I will look at a couple of articles on it from various papers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">i also get sucked in to the stories they run down the side of each article showing Beyonce out with her baby, or the Eastender caught in a bikini on holiday - you know the kind of thing. But what amazes me are the comments that other readers put at the bottom of the article. I love reading them but often I do so with open mouth. Comments on a divisive political argument or new policy are great and offer so much variety in opinion that I can sometimes be persuaded to look at it in a different way. But it's the comments on the 'fluff' stories that make me feel upset, sick and amazed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do people have so little in their lives that they must find something wrong with every story or every person in that story? My real pet hate are the people that have to comment on a cute celebrity new baby/wedding/day out story. Invariably it will read </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>'HELLO?? Woman has baby!! This is a story??? Why????'.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Erm. If you don't want to know about these people or their lives, it's simple. Don't read the article. Don't browse the celeb section. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>'They called the baby WHAT??? What is wrong with them? Poor kid.'</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Is it your child? What's it got to do with you? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those are quite tame, I will admit. But then you get the really unnecessary ones.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'<b><i>Lost her baby weight?! Ha, in her dreams. Still looks like a fat pig. She shouldn't be out in public looking like that.'</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hmmm, I hope you're a perfect specimen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i>' F*****g cretin! I hope he dies in a horrible accident'</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Nice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The list goes on and on and gets worse and worse. I stumbled upon a fluffy article today about a woman in Yorkshire (I think), who went into labour and gave birth during her own baby-shower. No great breaking news, but quite a sweet story accompanied with a schmaltzy shot of woman with baby and her baby-shower friends. It won't change my life but it was a nice feel-good piece.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Every single comment (yes I checked) was having a go at her/the situation because she had a baby shower. Comments about this not being America and how it was just an excuse to freeload from your friends and so on and so on. Some comments were downright offensive. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What is your problem people?! Were you asked to come along and contribute? Nope, didn't think so. Does it affect you in any way, shape or form? No. So get over yourself. Live your life in your way and let other people enjoy theirs in their way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">These are all quite tame examples really if you think about it. I won't even go into the children and young people who are depressed and, sometimes worse, committing suicide due to internet bullies. It's heartbreaking and so unnecessary. I don't know what the answer it, does anyone really? But all I hope is that eventually the novelty will wear off and we can start being nicer to people. Hmmmm, meanwhile back in the real world...</span><br />
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com4London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-37706647428759259232013-07-02T11:17:00.002+01:002013-07-02T11:17:28.841+01:00Summer holiday sadness?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today it was reported that Michael Gove announced that from September 2015, schools could be given the freedom to decide their own school holidays.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In principal, this is perhaps not such a daft idea. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On paper. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In reality, this is likely to cause complete chaos to an awful lot of the population - be them parents or teachers, or [shock, horror] a teacher who is also a parent!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The 6 weeks holiday argument has raged for years and will keep going forever, I am sure. And I am both for and against the idea but, in my most humble opinion, the pros do outweigh the cons - and that's coming from someone who is already worrying about what to do with my job when my little boy starts school in 3 years time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let's say that everything goes ahead with Mr Gove's plan and schools decide to fix their own holidays. What <i>could </i> happen?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- two siblings at different schools with different holiday times. Neither will release the child for a family holiday in term time. So parents could now be restricted to only 2 or 3 weeks in the summer when they could take their holiday. Boo hoo you might say, but how flexible is YOUR office/workplace with holidays? 'Not very' is usually the answer. So, what happens when a large percentage of your workforce needs the same 2 or 3 weeks off in the summer? Think about places like supermarkets and other retail stores - where the majority of their staff are part-time and have a family. How will that work?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- holiday companies currently like to inflate their rates from mid-July to early September. But what if summer breaks started earlier at some schools and ended later in others? HOORAY and KERRRR-CHINGG! for the tourism industry. They can now over-inflate their prices for maybe 10 weeks rather than the paltry 6 . Think about it...all those smug, childless couples (of which I was one for years) and pensioners will also now have to pay a small fortune to sit on an overcrowded beach surrounded by kiddiwinkies too if they dare to want a holiday between June and October!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- then there is the childcare issue. Yes, it is everybody's individual choice to have a child. So it is everyone's individual responsibility to arrange and pay for our of school childcare. Fine when everyone has the same holiday time - give or take a few days - and holiday clubs can run and childminders know when they have spaces. But what happens when this period is extended by a couple of weeks at either end? This will affect the premises they can rent for their clubs - most use school facilities. The infrastructure has been in place, and building, for a number of years to help families during the school holidays and now Mr Gove would like to make it more difficult yet again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I thought this government wanted to get people back to work wherever possible? They are already losing out on millions of women's earning potential because of childcare restrictions So why are they now trying to make it even more difficult? This could actually force one parent out of the workforce.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Teachers who are parents. Where does this leave them? Their school closes at a different time to their offspring's. Will the government suddenly give them the flexibility to take their holiday during termtime to cover it? Nope, thought not. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that is not even getting into the 'touchy feely' list of reasons why the straight 6 week holiday should stay. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Children should be allowed to be children for at least a few years. Society has been trying to make children grow older beyond their years for a while now and it's ridiculous. Children need to play in order to grow and learn. Trying to turn us all into Tiger Mums and making them sit in a regimented fashion and learn for longer hours will not produce a balanced cross section of society.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And teachers. What about them? Most of my teaching friends spend evenings planning lessons and marking work and writing reports and making wallcharts and decorating their classrooms and trying to meet government targets and.. and... and... the list goes on. yes, they may well finish teaching at 3.30pm but they don't just 'clock off'. And they can't just 'chuck a sickie' when they feel like it. Or bugger off for a long weekend if they feel like it - unlike a lot of the population.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of my friends are usually back in the classroom in the final week of the summer holidays making the necessary preparations for the new term. A lot of them spend the first week of the holidays in the classroom too - taking down the decorations and work displays. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mr Gove probably went to a private school like a lot of his government peers and actually I don't have an issue with that. Each to their own, live and let live and all that. Personally, I would rather have educated people leading the country rather than a white-van-man with a CSE* in Technical Drawing trying to decide economic policy. What I object to, are these educated people not having a sense of perspective; not having any idea of how most of the population have to live. That's what irks me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">[*showing my age here. Most people reading this probably won't have a clue what a CSE is and think I have just made a typing error]</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For someone who usually does vote Tory (don't hate me, please!) I am hoping that either Gove gets ousted in favour of someone a little more savvy, or that the opposition gets in and cancels these plans. I won't hold my breath though, so far the Labour party haven't shown any signs of withdrawing most of the Tory plans and cuts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hey ho. </span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-49738853470768458702013-06-24T15:29:00.000+01:002013-06-24T15:29:37.591+01:00How things change<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've had a pretty trying weekend. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Father-in-law came to stay for 4 days and it was hard work ((c) understatement of the century). But that's a whole other story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But during this strange, surreal nightmare I had a tiny little moment of peace and serenity and it was my favourite part of the whole weekend. At 4am today I woke up and I could hear Boychild chatting away to himself quietly. Quite happily and contentedly, but he was awake nonetheless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I went in to give him his dummy and get him back to sleep. He was on all fours and looked up at me with a big innocent smile, leaned back on his haunches and put his arms up. So I picked him up and he immediately flopped down on my shoulder with his arms round my neck and started stroking my hair. I let him slide down so I was cradling him like a little baby and spent 10 minutes just rocking him and watching him snooze. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't remember the last time I've done that when he was so peaceful (usually it's because he's not well or is teething) and it was beautiful. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sure being up at 4am like that isn't everyone's idea of a good time and a few years ago I'm sure it would not have been mine either, but I guess times change. Happy mummy. </span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-84973907619541837112013-05-02T10:39:00.000+01:002013-05-02T10:39:59.575+01:00Mummy Crushes<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Having never been a stranger to 'weird crushes', I was interested to see who the latest mum crushes are. According to <a href="http://notanothermummyblog.com/" target="_blank">notanothermummyblog.com</a> this is the <a href="http://notanothermummyblog.com/2013/04/04/do-you-have-a-mum-crush-on-dr-ranj/" target="_blank">list</a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5 - Aled Jones. <b><i>REEEEEEEEAAALLLLY????</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe it's because I know people who were at college with him, and I can still see him on the telly aged about 11 but I really don't get this one. He still looks as though he doesn't need to shave. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4 - Mr Maker (Phil Gallagher from kids tv for those of you lucky enough not to have to watch that crap) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Again, has he started shaving yet?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3 - Philip Schofield. Hmmm. Difficult to say where I stand on that one. He was cute when I was 16. When he became all 'silver fox' he awakened many a lady's lustings, but now... well he's just everywhere and to be honest, I'm beginning to find him a little creepy. Sorry Phil.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2 - Alex from CBeebies</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not to be confused with Alex Winter, ie:'the one who is not Keanu' from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure ... who is showing more than a passing resemblance to Michael Bublé right now... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At least both of these guys have something about them I could find attractive but I'm still not convinced.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and then .... [drum roll please......] onwards to NUMBER 1</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1 - Dr Ranj!! Hooooooooray! A real man. Someone who shaves, someone who does mean and moody and someone who can relate to kids too (although that's not high on my list if it's purely a carnal crush. oh god, what am i saying, this bloke is a kid's TV presenter... but also a real doctor so he does a brain too. See, I'm not really shallow at all.)</span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195090399999984 -0.7652713999999704 51.82733739999999 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-1644832406460440882013-04-23T16:39:00.000+01:002013-04-23T16:39:02.280+01:00Single mums - I salute you!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the last year I have been pretty thankful, on one or two occasions, that I can share the 'burden' of Boychild with Husb but last night I really could not have been more thankful! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just before 1am, I was woken by the sobbing of Boychild. It's pretty unusual for him to wake up at that time and even more unusual for him to sound so inconsolable. I went in and found him kneeling in his cot covered in, and surrounded by, vomit (tmi - apologies). He'd clearly thrown-up in his sleep and woken up in it as it was everywhere - in his hair, in his ears and eyes, on his sleeping bag and sleepsuit, the cot bumper and obviously all over the sheet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of a sudden I felt this wash of panic and in a very 'ER' kind of way I yelled to Husb, 'gonna need some help in here!'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully, within an hour of waking, Boychild was sleeping peacefully once more after being stripped, bathed, redressed, read-to and, most importantly, cuddled quite a lot. In fact, we found that he had left a teddy or two behind in our bed and, between you and me, I quite enjoyed snuggling up to them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whilst I really could have done without being on red alert for a whole hour less than 3 hours after falling asleep, it was all over fairly quickly and I was asleep not long after my little man. But this morning it got me thinking. The only reason everything went so smoothly and swiftly was because the load was shared between two people. I stripped Boychild whilst Hubby ran the bath and then Hubby bathed him whilst I stripped the bed, cleaned it, remade it and found some clean nightwear. I took the still sobbing munchkin and cuddled him dry as Husb emptied the bath and tidied the bathroom and then I loaded the washing machine and found a clean cuddly toy to take to bed while Husb dressed him. All within about half an hour.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A full recovery seemed to have taken place by now and the previously sobbing child was now playing jumping games on the marital bed and trying to comb my hair (which basically involved bashing me on the head with the comb). So we found some books, tucked him in the middle of us and let him 'read' for ten minutes, then bundled him up and took him back to his own bed and popped him down. Within another few minutes he was snoring and stayed like that til morning.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if Husb had been out/away on business/a total git who didn't get involved with his own child? Surely this is the kind of situation a single mum has to deal with on a daily basis? Don't misunderstand me, I have had to sort out Boychild alone when he's been ill in the past, but that was in the middle of the day, I was wide awake and we hadn't just moved, so I knew exactly where to find everything really quickly! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically what I'm trying to say is 'mucho respect' to all the single mums out there - whatever the reason for your situation, you have a damn hard job and I salute you. </span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-28111202241916896732013-04-19T15:02:00.001+01:002013-04-19T15:02:08.560+01:00Why is everything so complicated?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My husband laughs at me. A lot. I think it's a safety mechanism to stop him from killing me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He thinks I could make emptying a paper bag complicated. But I swear, I don't do it deliberately. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think it's my years of having to investigate every eventuality of every situation with my job. I have had to put myself in the mindset of a half-witted bloke (sorry for the sweeping generalisation) who has had his hand held by his agent, manager, studio manager, mummy, wifey (delete as applicable) every day and has done for the last 14 years. So now, I can't just accept that the shopping is being delivered/the windows will be cleaned/the wardrobes will be assembled etc. I have to build in a contingency plan for all these situations. But the thing is, I am seldom proved wrong. Since we moved house, I cannot believe how complicated everything has to be. Believe me when I say, I WANT SIMPLE!!! I don't want to have to fight, negotiate or build in a back-up plan every time. Tell me this isn't normal, tell me I've just been unlucky... please!?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) Cooker was delivered - they couldn't install it due to there being no 'legal' power point in the vicinity. The previous owners had installed their cooker illegally. Great. So we had to get in a 'man that can' to install a legal plug socket.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) We had the burglar alarm company round when we took over the contract from the previous owners. Great. All simple surely. Nope. The bloke who set it for us, included our bedroom sensor (ie: upstairs) in the same group as the whole of the downstairs so now we can't set it when we go to bed as we set the bloody alarm off when we walk into the bedroom. We have to get them to come back and fix it. Fabulous.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) The dishwasher was delivered yesterday. Firstly, the pipe isn't long enough to plumb in - again because of the previous owners and their ridiculous kitchen planning. Secondly, the door on the dishwasher is on wonky and so doesn't close properly without you jiggling it about. Cue phone call asking for them to pick it up and deliver a new one. It only took 3 attempts at which button to press on the automated service and 15 minutes on hold. Lovely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) Back to the dishwasher. Apparently we had to go back to the shop to choose another dishwasher as the one we picked doesn't lend itself well to having an extension pipe fitted to it. So we did. Only it was out of stock. Brilliant. Today I got a text message saying it was in stock now and they would deliver between 7am and 8pm on Wednesday. Erm, I think not. Some of us have to work you know. I change it to Saturday but am still astounded that they can only offer a 13 hour time slot. Beginning to wonder if I even want a dishwasher now.....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-20756685059100180292013-03-20T14:21:00.001+00:002013-03-20T14:21:45.633+00:00<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's only taken 19 months but we have finally left our lovely little (cramped) flat and moved into our new house. I'm still at that stage when i get excited about walking up the drive ... And the stairs (we have stairs!) ... And into the garden.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What i'm not so thrilled about is the mess some people leave their homes in, not to mention what they do to them while they live in them. Things i have noticed so far...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) the tight buggers took every curtain pole with them when they moved . £300k for a house and you don't even get anywhere to hang your feckin' curtains.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) there are no drawers in the kitchen. Not one. Where does one put the cutlery ? Or all the spare keys to which the locks they fit are a mystery? Surely every home needs a 'man-drawer'? <br />Actually, I found one drawer ... In the dining room. Bit of a pain to get stuff quickly if you have to go to another room. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) the cooker was installed illegally....from a health & safety perspective. As they took the cooker with them, we discovered this when ours was delivered and the chaps wouldn't install it as the points were not on the right place. Day 7 of ping meals/soup/takeaway looms. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4) all the radiators are in odd places meaning they don't really do the job they were designed to! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5) why is there a howling wind coming from the understairs cupboard? I have looked in said cupboard and cannot find any holes, gaps or wind machines. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6) why would one design their bathroom with a sink so large is hangs over into the bath?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6a) why would one design their bathroom with a large window next to the shower so that one can wave to bus passengers whilst performing their ablutions? Plus if means you have to wipe away the flood of shower water from the window sill after every use.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">7) why are there dimmer switches on every light except the dining room? Perhaps the one room that might benefit from some soft lighting occasionally.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">8) the kitchen cupboards are so high up that even when using steps I can barely reach the top shelf. I met the previous owners - they were not that tall.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">9) They took the loft hook with them too (you know, that bit of curved metal that you use to pull down the hatch and ladder). Why!?? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm sure I could thing of other foibles in the place but it will make me sound like a Moaning Myrtle and really I love being in the new house. Now all i need is a reasonable lottery win so that I can 'make it my own'... in the words of Pete Waterman.</span></div>
Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-59582815521951509112013-02-18T08:43:00.001+00:002013-02-18T09:19:13.656+00:00In at the deep end.<div><p>Sitting on the tube en route to the office for the first time since April 2012.  I am not as heavy as i was back then nor am i wearing a 'baby on board ' badge but i am possibly more tired and have aged 5 years.</p>
<p>I have been up for almost 3 hours and achieved very little, tho i am dressed and made up and Boychild is tucked away nicely at nursery. He will have a great time I'm sure. I, however , will be on edge all day.</p>
<p>Head is thumping....prob from dehydration. Cried for about 3 hours yesterday and did 'guilt'  playing with him for most of the afternoon. This, of course, resulted in me not eating til almost 9 after having to do all my chores after he went to bed rather than me doing them 'with him helping' throughout the day. (Husb was away on business unfortunately but it gave us some quality mummy and sprog time) . </p>
<p>Husb returned not long after 9 last night and insisted on me telling him everything he had missed....poor love is a softer sap than I when it comes to Boychild.</p>
<p>Anyway, so far i have needed assistance in buying my travelcard  and a nice man on the South Ken platform asked me if i needed any help and called me 'lovely lady'.  I guess my squinty tired eyes and shellshocked face must have made me seem like an out-of-towner rather than than a professional yummy mummy - the look  i hoped to achieve when choosing my first day back outfit! </p>
<p>Oh well, there is always tomorrow to try again.</p>
</div>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-28791017407280356942013-01-22T20:37:00.000+00:002013-01-22T20:37:13.174+00:00Back to work resolutions!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's time for a change. I'm not saying that I've 'let myself go' since having Boychild but I have relaxed things somewhat. Don't misunderstand me, I will not leave the house without washing my hair and doing my make-up but the wardrobe has slipped somewhat. Therefore I have made a decision that back to work is my 'New Year' and things have got to change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1) <b><i>Weight Watchers</i></b>. Got to be done. Still a good 12lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and I wasn't exactly svelte before then. At least 24lbs heavier than on my wedding day which was less than 3 years ago. Going to be 40 in 3 months time. I refuse to be this fat and 40!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2) <i style="font-weight: bold;">Dress for work.</i> After spending the last year in stretch jeans, comfy shoes and hoodies, I need to smarten up. My job doesn't need suits (positively frowned upon!) but smart jeans, heels, jackets and funky shirts are in order. That and ensuring I am not wearing something sporting baby vomit, baby snot or dried milk. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3) <i style="font-weight: bold;">Good underwear</i> . Finally bought some new bras last week. Ones that fit rather than the preggy one-size-bigger efforts I was slobbing about in, but the pants....well, I know comfort has suddenly become more important than style but I'm way too young for granny pants on a daily basis. Once back to work, a lunchtime visit to M&S without a buggy will definitely be a priority.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4) <i style="font-weight: bold;">Ditch the maternity nighties.</i> Probably too much information, but considering I slept pretty much naked for years and in the cold I might have found an oversized t-shirt, since Baby Boy was born I have stuck with the shapeless, long maternity nighties. Not sexy. Not attractive. Certainly not conducive with maintaining nocturnal activities with Husb.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5) <i style="font-weight: bold;"> Listen to some PROPER music. </i>Knowing all the words to the song on 'Baby Jake' is not cool and won't cut it in the office. I cannot wait to have the time to listen to my beloved ipod again. It's been turned on twice since I had Boychild.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073346 -0.1276831000000129351.1912186 -0.77313010000001292 51.8234506 0.51776389999998707tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-22704529096992514802013-01-21T05:54:00.000+00:002013-01-20T21:55:33.845+00:00Back to the grindstone...<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In four weeks time I will be returning to world of work. Deep joy and rapture....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've shocked myself. I thought I would be desperate to get back to work by now but actually I am getting a little upset about leaving Boychild in a nursery almost every day. I have never had a problem with working mothers or childcare - in this day and age, needs must. And personally I do think that everyone needs a little adult conversation on a regular basis and Lord knows have I been lacking in that over the last few months!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But now the guilt has started. Not from anyone else - I don't think anyway - but from me. When I tell people I'm going back to work, I use the word 'unfortunately' when saying I'm going back full-time, and 'for now'. I finally understand what Husb has been saying for the last 8 months about how much he misses Boychild each day especially if he doesn't make it home in time to bath him before he goes to bed. I know I will see him every night but that will literally be all. I will pick him up from nursery at 6.30 and by the time we get home the little munchkin will be getting in the bath and going to bed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So what to do? Somehow I don't think there will be any record labels springing up in SE London and within a 30 minute commute any time soon, nor do I think I will find any similar work that will even come close to my salary closer to home so I guess I will have to just suck it up and accept that my working will, at least for now, be an investment for his future. If I work now then hopefully I can drop down to part-time or career change in the next year or two once we're a little more financially secure. I'm sure he'll forgive me! Besides, what's so bad about being in a room full of toys and other kids to play with all day long? He'll probably have more fun there than he does now watching me hoover!</span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-30252519585321884702013-01-20T05:47:00.000+00:002013-01-19T21:49:30.984+00:00<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I had these romantic ideas about motherhood and blogging. Thought I would be able to write about all the cool/funny/cute/revolting stuff I had experienced that day whilst my scrummy bundle of joy slept off his busy day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The reality is that, like most parents, the evenings are spent clearing up, washing bottles, finally getting dinner 2 hours later than pre-baby and then collapsing on the sofa hoping the phone doesn't ring and trying to pretend to watch TV for an hour before falling into bed praying your little darling sleeps through for once.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But do I regret having a baby? Not a bit. I won't lie, I am exhausted most of the time and my body has yet to recover (I live in hope...) but Boychild really is one of the best things I have ever done. He is funny, clever, foolhardy, slightly mental and extremely hyperactive. But most importantly, he is mine and he's beautiful. I mean, who could not love this little face?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I just have to be more realistic about blogging. No time to be clever or witty, all I need to do is remember all the stuff that makes me smile during the day and then do a quick blog when I get the chance. Who needs an essay anyway? </span></div>
Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-25734753663802076282012-10-29T22:05:00.000+00:002012-10-29T22:06:41.640+00:00Mummy musings...<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I now have a whole host of things to irritate me that I never thought possible....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Parent and child parking spaces are a godsend. I never realised how much room you needed to get a baby seat out of a car before I had to do it. I LOVE these spaces. But in Sainsbury's the other day I watched 2 people come back to the car in the space next to me with no pushchair or child. This irked me to say the least, but they seemed to think it was fine as they had a disabled badge in the window. The fact they both walked perfectly well and were both carrying a number of shopping bags seemed to suggest they were not that physically impaired. Adding insult to injury, there was a whole row of empty disabled spaces in the car park (around 8 spots) and wondered how well it would be received if I parked in one of the disabled bays and used my child as the reason?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Just having a baby/child seat in the back of your car also does not make it acceptable to park in one of the parent and child bays. As the 'disabled' car pulled out of the space, a chap pulled into it. 2 child seats in the back but no kids. I kid you not - no pun intended. Grrrrrrrr!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I keep reading about babies of Boychild's age being 18, 20 and even 25lbs and wondering what on earth they are being fed. He was over 8lb when he was born but didn't put on weight to start with. Now he is just over 15lbs. He's not tiny but he's no means big either (Husb and I are both pretty restricted on the leg front!). How the hell can a five month old baby be 25lbs?? I know a one year old who weighs that and she looks comfortably cuddly so what the heck does a 25lb baby of 5 months look like?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- I have started to hate clothes shopping. Actually that's not strictly true. I started hating it when i was pregnant but I had hoped that by now, I would have started to like it again. I'm still too big for the pre-preg clothes but a size bigger is just a fraction too big. aarrrggghhh! And you have to speed shop too, whether you have the offspring with you or not. If you do then you can't try anything on. If you don't then you have to do it at breakneck speed as you have only a limited time without them. Either way, it sucks and is really depressing. Your daytime wardrobe can't really contain black/dark tops as you will be thrown up on about 3 times a day (or covered in drool or baby rice or any other yuk they have picked up) and your jeans MUST be stretch... you are on your knees or bending about 200 times a day. And it must all be non-iron. Who has time to iron when you have a baby?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Nappy sacks. Effectively carrier bags to put poo in. So who the hell would want to pay over 2quid for a load of those? Just discovered Sainsbury's basics nappy sacks.... 12p. Bloody marvellous. Anyone who is prepared to pay lots of money for bags to put poo in, clearly has far too much of it (money, that is, not poo...).</span></div>
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Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4159815824346550938.post-1177412757395095242012-09-13T02:00:00.000+01:002012-09-13T02:00:02.498+01:00One month later<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It got better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well it had to really otherwise I may have thrown myself from a bridge. I had a meltdown - it was pretty bad. Completely lost it at my husband. On that particular day I was hot, bothered, exhausted and covered in baby sick. Boychild had been screaming all day and I just felt as though my life was over. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5 months ago I was juggling a £1M budget and booking some of the best musicians in the world and now I was looking like shite wearing clothes my mother wouldn't be seen dead in (too fat for regular clothes and too thin for my maternity clothes), spending hours trying to clean the flat but not able too as my child wouldn't sleep for long enough (or allow me to put him down) so fed up of living in a pigsty, constantly washing bottles and trying desperately to keep my milk supply up (after the abominable mess made of breastfeeding caused partly by the midwives and partly by the bureaucratic arses at Kings College Hospital - another long story for another time) and having absolutely no life whatsoever as that would only be achievable with some energy - something I was clearly lacking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Husband listened. He didn't really understand and thought I was criticising him (I wasn't) but he knew I was close to breaking point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stopped trying to be superwoman and also gave up fighting the losing battle of my own milk. Husband therefore could do some of the night feeds. He now does Friday and Saturday night feeds - I can't expect him to get up at 3am during the week when he has to go to work, I'm not that unreasonable. I've still only been out alone 3 times but I can live with it. 2 on Friday nights so that hubby can do the feed and I can sleep and once to a Pilates class. It's a vague hope of trying to get back my pre-baby bod and shake off the backache!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also have given up being bothered about Freddie crying when we're out. He needs to get used to it as needs must and one must shop occasionally! Now I'm more relaxed, then he is too. I always knew that would happen but it's very tricky to implement when one is completely shattered. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He still won't nap much - 30 minute bursts - but now he's older he will sit in his chair for a short while and watch me in the kitchen so I can at least clean all his bottles and prepare his feeds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This morning he slept for 90 minutes whilst I attended a mum and baby fitness class - <a href="http://www.pushymothers.com/" target="_blank">Pushy Mothers</a>. He loved it and I can barely move. Lord, the last time I ached that much I had been beasted by a personal trainer in preparation for my wedding! And that time, I got to come home, have a bath and cry quietly in the corner. Today I had to come home, wash my sweaty face and change my t-shirt and carry on with looking after Baby Boy. I must stink! But I am so proud of my little one - he clearly loves being out in the fresh air and has absolutely no interest in watching me exercise!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he has got better - it's not perfect and I'm still not getting anywhere near enough sleep, but I can live like this and not feel like a total failure. I'm even beginning to get quite sad about having to go back to work - something I never thought I would say. People change I guess.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Shortlasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11565764519901758150noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5081289 -0.12800551.350006900000004 -0.443862 51.6662509 0.187852