My husband laughs at me. A lot. I think it's a safety mechanism to stop him from killing me.
He thinks I could make emptying a paper bag complicated. But I swear, I don't do it deliberately.
I think it's my years of having to investigate every eventuality of every situation with my job. I have had to put myself in the mindset of a half-witted bloke (sorry for the sweeping generalisation) who has had his hand held by his agent, manager, studio manager, mummy, wifey (delete as applicable) every day and has done for the last 14 years. So now, I can't just accept that the shopping is being delivered/the windows will be cleaned/the wardrobes will be assembled etc. I have to build in a contingency plan for all these situations. But the thing is, I am seldom proved wrong. Since we moved house, I cannot believe how complicated everything has to be. Believe me when I say, I WANT SIMPLE!!! I don't want to have to fight, negotiate or build in a back-up plan every time. Tell me this isn't normal, tell me I've just been unlucky... please!?
1) Cooker was delivered - they couldn't install it due to there being no 'legal' power point in the vicinity. The previous owners had installed their cooker illegally. Great. So we had to get in a 'man that can' to install a legal plug socket.
2) We had the burglar alarm company round when we took over the contract from the previous owners. Great. All simple surely. Nope. The bloke who set it for us, included our bedroom sensor (ie: upstairs) in the same group as the whole of the downstairs so now we can't set it when we go to bed as we set the bloody alarm off when we walk into the bedroom. We have to get them to come back and fix it. Fabulous.
3) The dishwasher was delivered yesterday. Firstly, the pipe isn't long enough to plumb in - again because of the previous owners and their ridiculous kitchen planning. Secondly, the door on the dishwasher is on wonky and so doesn't close properly without you jiggling it about. Cue phone call asking for them to pick it up and deliver a new one. It only took 3 attempts at which button to press on the automated service and 15 minutes on hold. Lovely.
4) Back to the dishwasher. Apparently we had to go back to the shop to choose another dishwasher as the one we picked doesn't lend itself well to having an extension pipe fitted to it. So we did. Only it was out of stock. Brilliant. Today I got a text message saying it was in stock now and they would deliver between 7am and 8pm on Wednesday. Erm, I think not. Some of us have to work you know. I change it to Saturday but am still astounded that they can only offer a 13 hour time slot. Beginning to wonder if I even want a dishwasher now.....
- A first time mum at 39, trying not to let my son kill me off too soon. Busy juggling a new family, a new house and a tricky recording schedule I figured blogging would be less expensive than therapy and less embarrassing than shouting at rude and stupid people in the street/on trains/at the supermarket.