It's semi-official

It was quite clear.  And it said, most definitely, 'Pregnant'  '1 - 2 weeks'.  I think it might have been telling the truth too as I definitely don't seem to be getting the usual confirmation that I'm not pregnant.

Let's think about this; we've been trying for 10 months and think there may have been 2 instances when we've been successful but, alas, my body didn't seem to think it was a good idea at the time.  I could be wrong - nothing has ever been confirmed and it would have been far too early for a doctor to tell I reckon.

In that time, I've stopped smoking, been sparing with the booze, taken my folic acid/vitamins, tried to keep fit and eat relatively healthily. 
Over the last 4 weeks, I've had a cigarette (shhhhh, don't tell hubby), had at least 4 big nights when I've drunk a significant amount, dangled off ladders inhaling far too many paint fumes than is healthy, dyed my own hair over the bath inhaling lord knows what chemicals and indulged in some pretty intense gym sessions. One of the 'significant amount of alcohol' days was the day before doing the first pregnancy test.  Ooops.  Think i might have eaten a substantial amount of brie that day too.  Double ooops.

Naturally , my doctor's surgery is overbooked and i can't get an appointment until next Thursday so it's not been officially confirmed yet.  Don't know if that's good or bad really.  I'm trying not to get too excited, it's early days and I don't want to tempt fate - I've known far too many people who have been disappointed and upset at an early stage.  God that sounds maudlin doesn't it.  At what point does cautious become pessimistic?

That aside, I have so many drinking opportunities booked in the diary this month that I will have to become extremely adept at lying through my teeth to people.  I think I may be more successful at this than Hubby who is already trying to concoct convoluted stories as to why I might be driving/not drinking. Oh dear.  He really has to learn that the best lies are the simple ones.  At least I should be safe in the knowledge that I'll always know when he's fibbing his arse off to me. 

This week's ponderings...

1) Why do I leave a pub or a restaurant and feel absolutely fine but by the time i get home, I'm completely smashed?  I don't remember secretly drinking more on the journey.

2) Why did I think i was fat for my whole life (rather than just now, when I actually am....)?  On Sunday I was given a photo of myself in a bikini top and shorts taken about 13 years ago and i was HOT!  I do not recall ever being that skinny but the evidence suggests that i was.  Why did nobody tell me?  Or maybe they did and I just didn't listen...

2a) I wonder why, though, the same people tell me I'm not fat now and I never look any different when, in fact, 2.5 stone does show rather a lot and clearly I don't look exactly the same.  Photographic evidence proves this.

3) You're getting the lift to the first floor - SERIOUSLY!?  20 stairs too much for you? Yes I did just look at you like you're an idiot because you are.  And a lazy one at that.

4) I am gobsmacked how people think it's okay to get on an overheating tube carriage, stand right by the big  open window and then close it because it's too draughty for them.  You chose to stand there and the window was already open because the rest of the carriage is melting.  Have a word with yourself.

4a) Please note South Eastern Trains - just because it's raining, it doesn't mean the temperature has dropped by 15 degrees....  we DO NOT need the heating on in August.  Anyone who feels the cold in August has already put a coat on.

5) Life is cruel and unfair and sometimes it does really horrid things to undeserving people for no apparent reason.  You know who you are honey, and we're thinking of you.

5a) Sometimes people are cruel and unfair and for some reason choose only to hurt the people closest to them.   Then others join in and make the victim feel like it was their fault.  Again, you know who you are and your real friends and family are all there for you.

6) Sometimes I get too serious and think too much.  I think that's seriously bad.

7) I love the way my hubby can have me laughing my ass off over really stupid stuff.  Particularly when I'm being too serious.

8) I'm slightly confused that when spellchecking this blog, it threw up 'because' and offered Becca/Becky/Beau as alternatives.  When did 'because' become an incorrect spelling?  And why did it not highlight my real spelling mistakes?

9) I really fancy some chocolate....