I've had a pretty trying weekend. Father-in-law came to stay for 4 days and it was hard work ((c) understatement of the century). But that's a whole other story.
But during this strange, surreal nightmare I had a tiny little moment of peace and serenity and it was my favourite part of the whole weekend. At 4am today I woke up and I could hear Boychild chatting away to himself quietly. Quite happily and contentedly, but he was awake nonetheless.
I went in to give him his dummy and get him back to sleep. He was on all fours and looked up at me with a big innocent smile, leaned back on his haunches and put his arms up. So I picked him up and he immediately flopped down on my shoulder with his arms round my neck and started stroking my hair. I let him slide down so I was cradling him like a little baby and spent 10 minutes just rocking him and watching him snooze.
I can't remember the last time I've done that when he was so peaceful (usually it's because he's not well or is teething) and it was beautiful.
I'm sure being up at 4am like that isn't everyone's idea of a good time and a few years ago I'm sure it would not have been mine either, but I guess times change. Happy mummy.
About Me
- Shortlass
- A first time mum at 39, trying not to let my son kill me off too soon. Busy juggling a new family, a new house and a tricky recording schedule I figured blogging would be less expensive than therapy and less embarrassing than shouting at rude and stupid people in the street/on trains/at the supermarket.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Monday, 24 June 2013
Sunday, 20 January 2013
So I had these romantic ideas about motherhood and blogging. Thought I would be able to write about all the cool/funny/cute/revolting stuff I had experienced that day whilst my scrummy bundle of joy slept off his busy day.
The reality is that, like most parents, the evenings are spent clearing up, washing bottles, finally getting dinner 2 hours later than pre-baby and then collapsing on the sofa hoping the phone doesn't ring and trying to pretend to watch TV for an hour before falling into bed praying your little darling sleeps through for once.
But do I regret having a baby? Not a bit. I won't lie, I am exhausted most of the time and my body has yet to recover (I live in hope...) but Boychild really is one of the best things I have ever done. He is funny, clever, foolhardy, slightly mental and extremely hyperactive. But most importantly, he is mine and he's beautiful. I mean, who could not love this little face?
The reality is that, like most parents, the evenings are spent clearing up, washing bottles, finally getting dinner 2 hours later than pre-baby and then collapsing on the sofa hoping the phone doesn't ring and trying to pretend to watch TV for an hour before falling into bed praying your little darling sleeps through for once.
But do I regret having a baby? Not a bit. I won't lie, I am exhausted most of the time and my body has yet to recover (I live in hope...) but Boychild really is one of the best things I have ever done. He is funny, clever, foolhardy, slightly mental and extremely hyperactive. But most importantly, he is mine and he's beautiful. I mean, who could not love this little face?
I just have to be more realistic about blogging. No time to be clever or witty, all I need to do is remember all the stuff that makes me smile during the day and then do a quick blog when I get the chance. Who needs an essay anyway?
Monday, 29 October 2012
Mummy musings...
So I now have a whole host of things to irritate me that I never thought possible....
- Parent and child parking spaces are a godsend. I never realised how much room you needed to get a baby seat out of a car before I had to do it. I LOVE these spaces. But in Sainsbury's the other day I watched 2 people come back to the car in the space next to me with no pushchair or child. This irked me to say the least, but they seemed to think it was fine as they had a disabled badge in the window. The fact they both walked perfectly well and were both carrying a number of shopping bags seemed to suggest they were not that physically impaired. Adding insult to injury, there was a whole row of empty disabled spaces in the car park (around 8 spots) and wondered how well it would be received if I parked in one of the disabled bays and used my child as the reason?
- Just having a baby/child seat in the back of your car also does not make it acceptable to park in one of the parent and child bays. As the 'disabled' car pulled out of the space, a chap pulled into it. 2 child seats in the back but no kids. I kid you not - no pun intended. Grrrrrrrr!
- I keep reading about babies of Boychild's age being 18, 20 and even 25lbs and wondering what on earth they are being fed. He was over 8lb when he was born but didn't put on weight to start with. Now he is just over 15lbs. He's not tiny but he's no means big either (Husb and I are both pretty restricted on the leg front!). How the hell can a five month old baby be 25lbs?? I know a one year old who weighs that and she looks comfortably cuddly so what the heck does a 25lb baby of 5 months look like?
- I have started to hate clothes shopping. Actually that's not strictly true. I started hating it when i was pregnant but I had hoped that by now, I would have started to like it again. I'm still too big for the pre-preg clothes but a size bigger is just a fraction too big. aarrrggghhh! And you have to speed shop too, whether you have the offspring with you or not. If you do then you can't try anything on. If you don't then you have to do it at breakneck speed as you have only a limited time without them. Either way, it sucks and is really depressing. Your daytime wardrobe can't really contain black/dark tops as you will be thrown up on about 3 times a day (or covered in drool or baby rice or any other yuk they have picked up) and your jeans MUST be stretch... you are on your knees or bending about 200 times a day. And it must all be non-iron. Who has time to iron when you have a baby?
- Nappy sacks. Effectively carrier bags to put poo in. So who the hell would want to pay over 2quid for a load of those? Just discovered Sainsbury's basics nappy sacks.... 12p. Bloody marvellous. Anyone who is prepared to pay lots of money for bags to put poo in, clearly has far too much of it (money, that is, not poo...).
- Nappy sacks. Effectively carrier bags to put poo in. So who the hell would want to pay over 2quid for a load of those? Just discovered Sainsbury's basics nappy sacks.... 12p. Bloody marvellous. Anyone who is prepared to pay lots of money for bags to put poo in, clearly has far too much of it (money, that is, not poo...).
Thursday, 13 September 2012
One month later
It got better.
Well it had to really otherwise I may have thrown myself from a bridge. I had a meltdown - it was pretty bad. Completely lost it at my husband. On that particular day I was hot, bothered, exhausted and covered in baby sick. Boychild had been screaming all day and I just felt as though my life was over.
5 months ago I was juggling a £1M budget and booking some of the best musicians in the world and now I was looking like shite wearing clothes my mother wouldn't be seen dead in (too fat for regular clothes and too thin for my maternity clothes), spending hours trying to clean the flat but not able too as my child wouldn't sleep for long enough (or allow me to put him down) so fed up of living in a pigsty, constantly washing bottles and trying desperately to keep my milk supply up (after the abominable mess made of breastfeeding caused partly by the midwives and partly by the bureaucratic arses at Kings College Hospital - another long story for another time) and having absolutely no life whatsoever as that would only be achievable with some energy - something I was clearly lacking.
Husband listened. He didn't really understand and thought I was criticising him (I wasn't) but he knew I was close to breaking point.
I stopped trying to be superwoman and also gave up fighting the losing battle of my own milk. Husband therefore could do some of the night feeds. He now does Friday and Saturday night feeds - I can't expect him to get up at 3am during the week when he has to go to work, I'm not that unreasonable. I've still only been out alone 3 times but I can live with it. 2 on Friday nights so that hubby can do the feed and I can sleep and once to a Pilates class. It's a vague hope of trying to get back my pre-baby bod and shake off the backache!
I also have given up being bothered about Freddie crying when we're out. He needs to get used to it as needs must and one must shop occasionally! Now I'm more relaxed, then he is too. I always knew that would happen but it's very tricky to implement when one is completely shattered.
He still won't nap much - 30 minute bursts - but now he's older he will sit in his chair for a short while and watch me in the kitchen so I can at least clean all his bottles and prepare his feeds.
This morning he slept for 90 minutes whilst I attended a mum and baby fitness class - Pushy Mothers. He loved it and I can barely move. Lord, the last time I ached that much I had been beasted by a personal trainer in preparation for my wedding! And that time, I got to come home, have a bath and cry quietly in the corner. Today I had to come home, wash my sweaty face and change my t-shirt and carry on with looking after Baby Boy. I must stink! But I am so proud of my little one - he clearly loves being out in the fresh air and has absolutely no interest in watching me exercise!
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he has got better - it's not perfect and I'm still not getting anywhere near enough sleep, but I can live like this and not feel like a total failure. I'm even beginning to get quite sad about having to go back to work - something I never thought I would say. People change I guess.
Well it had to really otherwise I may have thrown myself from a bridge. I had a meltdown - it was pretty bad. Completely lost it at my husband. On that particular day I was hot, bothered, exhausted and covered in baby sick. Boychild had been screaming all day and I just felt as though my life was over.
5 months ago I was juggling a £1M budget and booking some of the best musicians in the world and now I was looking like shite wearing clothes my mother wouldn't be seen dead in (too fat for regular clothes and too thin for my maternity clothes), spending hours trying to clean the flat but not able too as my child wouldn't sleep for long enough (or allow me to put him down) so fed up of living in a pigsty, constantly washing bottles and trying desperately to keep my milk supply up (after the abominable mess made of breastfeeding caused partly by the midwives and partly by the bureaucratic arses at Kings College Hospital - another long story for another time) and having absolutely no life whatsoever as that would only be achievable with some energy - something I was clearly lacking.
Husband listened. He didn't really understand and thought I was criticising him (I wasn't) but he knew I was close to breaking point.
I stopped trying to be superwoman and also gave up fighting the losing battle of my own milk. Husband therefore could do some of the night feeds. He now does Friday and Saturday night feeds - I can't expect him to get up at 3am during the week when he has to go to work, I'm not that unreasonable. I've still only been out alone 3 times but I can live with it. 2 on Friday nights so that hubby can do the feed and I can sleep and once to a Pilates class. It's a vague hope of trying to get back my pre-baby bod and shake off the backache!
I also have given up being bothered about Freddie crying when we're out. He needs to get used to it as needs must and one must shop occasionally! Now I'm more relaxed, then he is too. I always knew that would happen but it's very tricky to implement when one is completely shattered.
He still won't nap much - 30 minute bursts - but now he's older he will sit in his chair for a short while and watch me in the kitchen so I can at least clean all his bottles and prepare his feeds.
This morning he slept for 90 minutes whilst I attended a mum and baby fitness class - Pushy Mothers. He loved it and I can barely move. Lord, the last time I ached that much I had been beasted by a personal trainer in preparation for my wedding! And that time, I got to come home, have a bath and cry quietly in the corner. Today I had to come home, wash my sweaty face and change my t-shirt and carry on with looking after Baby Boy. I must stink! But I am so proud of my little one - he clearly loves being out in the fresh air and has absolutely no interest in watching me exercise!
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that he has got better - it's not perfect and I'm still not getting anywhere near enough sleep, but I can live like this and not feel like a total failure. I'm even beginning to get quite sad about having to go back to work - something I never thought I would say. People change I guess.
Monday, 26 March 2012
Justified grumblings?
I won't lie, I've always been a bit of a grumbler but I am getting more so as I get older and more pregnant. Here are just a selection of my irritants from the last week week...
1) Today the Telegraph online reported that Connie Huq and Charlie Brooker had named their new baby Covey. Nope not exactly news that will help me to get through my day but then it was in the 'celebrity news' section and so not really infringing on column inches reserved for world politics. It was a nice story to read - two people from the telly/media have had a baby and have given it a name slightly more interesting than John or Jack. Not perhaps a name I would have chosen but then it's not my baby and none of my business really. So why do people feel the need to log onto the site and comment [quite bitterly and hurtfully] firstly on 'who the hell these people are' - one being quite a successful satirical writer and journalist and the other a fairly well-known TV celeb but lesser-known writer - and then cast scorn and disgust on their choice of baby name? Lord alive, do people really have that little to think about in their lives or fill their days? Or is it just too fashionable to be an internet troll right now?
If you think celebrity news is too trivial to bother you then don't read it. Easy solution.
2) Lady on train. I'm sorry you are ill, but the fact you can barely stand, have solidly coughed and sneezed for 25 minutes straight and look awful suggests that this has not come on since lunchtime. Why did you go to work and insist on trying to infect everyone on South Eastern trains? Yes, I am sitting here covering my mouth because the last time I had a cold (when only 14 weeks pregnant) it lasted over 3 weeks and was vile as I couldn't take any medication. Please accept you're ill and stay at home!
3) Man on tube. I know you saw me. I know you saw my enormous, almost 8 month bump, and I know you chose to then look me in the eye and look back at your paper as I stood directly in front of you trying not pass out on the packed District Line train. I'm sure your wife would be really proud.
4) Lady tutting behind me at Embankment station as I walked up the stairs. I'm so sorry that I was 'blocking your way' when you clearly needed to get up the stairs faster than I was allowing you. I'm afraid the extra 2 stone I'm carrying in a rather inconvenient place tends to prevent me from taking the steps two at a time. Oh and the fact the other side of the steps was completely clear makes me wonder why you didn't take that route if your exit was so urgent?
5) Virgin Media. You irritate me generally. You're incompetent, slow, useless and you lie. Anyone in my office who has heard me trying to get my phone line fixed will know that I am close to breaking point. I don't think it's too much to ask to get them to fix it seeing as it's been pretty rubbish for almost 10 months now....
6) Olympic-sized moaners. Some people just moan about the Olympics for something to do. You are boring me now. Get over it. And as for the flak Stella McCartney is getting about the new kit - Jeez!!
Do the athletes like it? YES!
Is it fit for purpose? YES
Is it recognisable as our national flag and obvious it's a team GB kit? YES
Then what is the problem? Get a life.
7) Budget moaners. Are you blissfully unaware of the mess this country is in financially? There is no easy solution - I'm sure if there was then Greece would already be doing it and we would be following suit very quickly. There were some things I liked in the budget and some things I didn't. I will be better off for a while and then worse off very soon afterwards. It's not great but then life isn't fair. I imagine that most people are the same. There is no perfect solution and unfortunately we are all just going to have to ride it out. I know that The Opposition have been quick to cast scorn and derision on some of the policies however I note that none of them have suggested some better alternatives... they simply waste their breath on telling the Tories what a crap job they are doing. I have no respect for any politician, from any side of any fence who just attack opposing policies. Get an opinion, get policies and get arguments to back them up. Then I'll be interested and have more time for you all.
I think that's probably enough for now....:o)
1) Today the Telegraph online reported that Connie Huq and Charlie Brooker had named their new baby Covey. Nope not exactly news that will help me to get through my day but then it was in the 'celebrity news' section and so not really infringing on column inches reserved for world politics. It was a nice story to read - two people from the telly/media have had a baby and have given it a name slightly more interesting than John or Jack. Not perhaps a name I would have chosen but then it's not my baby and none of my business really. So why do people feel the need to log onto the site and comment [quite bitterly and hurtfully] firstly on 'who the hell these people are' - one being quite a successful satirical writer and journalist and the other a fairly well-known TV celeb but lesser-known writer - and then cast scorn and disgust on their choice of baby name? Lord alive, do people really have that little to think about in their lives or fill their days? Or is it just too fashionable to be an internet troll right now?
If you think celebrity news is too trivial to bother you then don't read it. Easy solution.
2) Lady on train. I'm sorry you are ill, but the fact you can barely stand, have solidly coughed and sneezed for 25 minutes straight and look awful suggests that this has not come on since lunchtime. Why did you go to work and insist on trying to infect everyone on South Eastern trains? Yes, I am sitting here covering my mouth because the last time I had a cold (when only 14 weeks pregnant) it lasted over 3 weeks and was vile as I couldn't take any medication. Please accept you're ill and stay at home!
3) Man on tube. I know you saw me. I know you saw my enormous, almost 8 month bump, and I know you chose to then look me in the eye and look back at your paper as I stood directly in front of you trying not pass out on the packed District Line train. I'm sure your wife would be really proud.
4) Lady tutting behind me at Embankment station as I walked up the stairs. I'm so sorry that I was 'blocking your way' when you clearly needed to get up the stairs faster than I was allowing you. I'm afraid the extra 2 stone I'm carrying in a rather inconvenient place tends to prevent me from taking the steps two at a time. Oh and the fact the other side of the steps was completely clear makes me wonder why you didn't take that route if your exit was so urgent?
5) Virgin Media. You irritate me generally. You're incompetent, slow, useless and you lie. Anyone in my office who has heard me trying to get my phone line fixed will know that I am close to breaking point. I don't think it's too much to ask to get them to fix it seeing as it's been pretty rubbish for almost 10 months now....
6) Olympic-sized moaners. Some people just moan about the Olympics for something to do. You are boring me now. Get over it. And as for the flak Stella McCartney is getting about the new kit - Jeez!!
Do the athletes like it? YES!
Is it fit for purpose? YES
Is it recognisable as our national flag and obvious it's a team GB kit? YES
Then what is the problem? Get a life.
7) Budget moaners. Are you blissfully unaware of the mess this country is in financially? There is no easy solution - I'm sure if there was then Greece would already be doing it and we would be following suit very quickly. There were some things I liked in the budget and some things I didn't. I will be better off for a while and then worse off very soon afterwards. It's not great but then life isn't fair. I imagine that most people are the same. There is no perfect solution and unfortunately we are all just going to have to ride it out. I know that The Opposition have been quick to cast scorn and derision on some of the policies however I note that none of them have suggested some better alternatives... they simply waste their breath on telling the Tories what a crap job they are doing. I have no respect for any politician, from any side of any fence who just attack opposing policies. Get an opinion, get policies and get arguments to back them up. Then I'll be interested and have more time for you all.
I think that's probably enough for now....:o)
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